A mother’s heartfelt Facebook post about a moment during her son’s basketball game is a must-read for every parent raising boys. In a world that often pressures boys to “man up” and suppress their emotions, this mom’s experience underscores the importance of allowing boys to express their feelings.
Ava Jensen, a digital content creator and author, is affectionately known as the “toughest mom ever” to her three children: ten-year-old Ella, nine-year-old Jake, and seven-year-old Leo. Despite her tough exterior, Ava is unwavering in her support for her son, especially when he’s hurting. Recently, she shared a poignant account of a moment when Jake was accidentally struck in the face with a basketball.
Instinctively, Ava rushed to be by his side. “He was gasping for air,” she recounted. “I couldn’t get to him fast enough. I knelt down and said, ‘Breathe, buddy. It’s okay.’ Once he calmed down and took a breath, I wrapped my arms around him while he cried on my shoulder.” It’s an agonizing feeling when your child is in distress, and all you can do is hold them tight. But then, an unexpected voice interrupted. “You’re babying that kid,” someone called out from the stands.
Rather than letting the comment ruin the moment, Ava chose not to engage. “I’ve learned that not every confrontation is worth having,” she explained. “My peace is too valuable. Often, those who make such remarks are simply reflecting their own upbringing.” However, the comment lingered in her mind, prompting her to share her thoughts in a post that quickly gained traction.
Ava articulated the long-term damage of reinforcing the idea that boys shouldn’t exhibit pain or vulnerability. “This belief that boys can’t feel deeply or show affection is incredibly harmful,” she asserted. “The pressure to always ‘be strong’ follows them into adulthood, hindering their ability to form meaningful connections.”
Jake, though he didn’t fully grasp the comment at the time, would later discuss it with his mom. “That evening, as we were getting ready for bed, I didn’t bring up the remark directly; I didn’t want to empower it,” Ava shared. “Instead, I told him, ‘No matter how old you are—whether you’re 8, 15, or even 50—you can always come to me when you’re hurting.’ Then I showered him with kisses.”
Crying in response to sadness or pain, whether physical or emotional, is a natural reaction that everyone experiences. So why do we often encourage this release in our daughters but discourage it in our sons? Supporting our children in these moments is a powerful reminder of their worth and love. No parent should feel guilty for showing affection, regardless of their child’s age or gender.
“Love is an action,” Ava emphasized. “It’s not about coddling or spoiling; it’s about giving my son what he deserves. My hope is that he remains open to receiving love, allowing him to give love in return and perpetuate that cycle.”
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In summary, Ava’s experience serves as a powerful reminder that emotional expression should be encouraged in boys just as it is in girls. Allowing our children to feel and express their emotions fosters a healthier emotional landscape as they grow into adults.