By: Mia Thompson
Updated: Feb. 4, 2023
During my time in college, I decided to volunteer at a local rape crisis center. I thought it would be a meaningful way to spend my time, but I quickly realized that I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll it would take. My roommates and I signed up with the best intentions, but I soon discovered that I lacked the emotional resilience needed to support those who had experienced such trauma.
The training we underwent was extensive and intense, covering everything from statistics to simulations of what survivors go through at hospitals. We even had sessions to help us process our own feelings, as we were bound to encounter some difficult emotions while helping others. After those rigorous six weeks, I was handed a pager with clear instructions on how to respond when it buzzed. The plan was to meet a survivor at the hospital, offering them support, guidance, or simply a comforting presence.
As I clipped that pager to my belt for the first time, an overwhelming sense of dread washed over me. I was essentially waiting for a tragedy to unfold, knowing that at any moment, someone like me could be experiencing the worst night of their life. This unsettling thought lingered in my mind—somebody would soon find their life shattered by someone who felt entitled to take what wasn’t theirs.
The statistics we learned were shocking: one in every six women experiences attempted or completed rape in their lifetime, and in nearly 70% of these cases, the perpetrator is someone the victim knows. This alarming fact is especially relevant on college campuses.
That’s why it’s absolutely infuriating when public figures, like Police Chief Mark Rivers, suggest that the “real” rapes are those committed by strangers. He insinuated that acquaintance rapes are somehow less serious, as if being violated by a friend or acquaintance is any less of a crime. Rape is rape is rape. There are no qualifiers. Whether it’s a stranger in a dark alley or someone you thought you could trust, the violation is the same.
The pager did go off for me. On my very first night of volunteering, I received a call at 3 AM to meet a woman who had just been assaulted. I was terrified but knew I had to be strong for her. Unfortunately, that was my one and only call.
The experience was heartbreaking. I struggled to maintain my composure as I listened to her harrowing story. She had been assaulted by a friend—someone she trusted and felt safe with. This wasn’t some random act of violence; it was a betrayal that cut deep. The trauma of such an experience is profound, whether inflicted by a stranger or a known person.
It is crucial that we stop minimizing these experiences. Statements that downplay acquaintance rape only serve to push victims further into silence, leaving them without the support they desperately need. Victims deserve compassion and understanding, not shame or judgment. We must channel our outrage toward the individuals who perpetrate these heinous acts, not the survivors who bear the weight of their trauma.
We can do better. Let’s abandon victim-blaming and hold offenders accountable. The world doesn’t need more individuals like Brock Turner, who exemplify a culture that excuses and minimizes sexual violence.
For more insights on this topic, check out our other blog post on rape and consent for additional context and resources. If you’re looking for helpful tools for at-home insemination, visit Make a Mom for reliable kits. Additionally, Resolve.org is a fantastic resource for information on family-building and insemination options.
In summary, rape is a serious issue that transcends the identity of the perpetrator. It is imperative that we stand united in support of survivors and reject any narrative that diminishes their experiences.