“I won’t ever abandon you,” I softly told my son as I gently laid him back into his crib. “I don’t know how I’ll make it happen, but I will find a way for us to escape this, I promise.” This was the promise I’d repeated nightly since he was born, just as I had for my daughter. It was a vow I made to myself long before that, too.
This promise was shattered by a marriage that felt inescapable, a life shackled by abuse, financial dependency, and a lack of support. The legal system seemed to mock me, and with two children relying on me, I felt utterly trapped.
Many mornings, I stood before the mirror, struggling to recognize the woman staring back at me—a face that seemed lost, drained of hope, and filled only with pain. Who was this person? Surely, I thought, this can’t be me, especially when I caught sight of the bruise under my eye. I once had aspirations, dreams, and a vision for our future.
Yet the mirror reflected the remnants of who I used to be. I entertained thoughts of leaving him—packing up my kids and heading to a shelter. Safety was just a shelter away, right? But then I questioned, until when? Until my husband’s attorney sought custody of my children? I couldn’t afford legal representation, nor could I navigate a legal system that often disregarded the implications of domestic violence in custody disputes. Research showed that 70% of women in abusive situations lose custody to their abusers primarily because they lack the financial means to fight back.
I would never leave my children behind. I was their mother, and I had to protect them. Even if I managed to flee with them, uncertainty loomed—where would we go next? Local shelters offered only six weeks of housing. What happened after that? I would still be tied to his income, making me ineligible for daycare assistance. Without someone to care for them, how could I work? And without work, how could I provide for them?
The financial grip he had on me had drained my savings and buried me in debt. I felt completely cornered. What choices did I have? Leave without my children or take them with me and risk not being able to feed or house them?
So, I stayed. I pushed aside my own well-being, as many mothers do, and focused entirely on caring for my children in the only way I knew how: through self-sacrifice.
As I stood over my son’s crib that night, gazing at one of the few things left in my life that felt real, I felt lost in how to overcome the devastation that had consumed me.
Then, fate intervened. I met a compassionate attorney who recognized my plight and reminded me that if I truly wanted a future, I had to break free from my past. I’ll never forget his words, “You need to get out of this if you ever want a future.” I replied honestly, “I can’t afford to get out of this. I can’t afford a future.”
Despite my financial constraints, he fought for me, for my children, for our lives. He rescued us and opened the door to a future I thought was impossible.
Reflecting on my journey, I often wonder why I was fortunate enough to receive help when so many others remain trapped in cycles of abuse. What makes me more deserving? The truth is, nothing. I was merely lucky enough to have someone recognize my potential beyond my financial situation.
Women fighting for their lives should not have to do so alone. The proposed cuts to domestic violence programs are terrifying. We must raise our voices and advocate for these vital resources. Every woman and child deserves a life free from violence, and sometimes, all they need is a little support to help them fight for it.
This cause epitomizes the essence of ‘supporting life.’ I urge our leaders to uphold these essential programs and demonstrate their commitment to life. We cannot leave women and children feeling helpless, trapped in their circumstances with no support or hope for the future.
Take a moment to consider the women who are tirelessly working not only to be the mothers they aspire to be but are also battling for their very existence. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, resources are available. Check out the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence for support.
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In summary, we must unite to protect and uplift those who are vulnerable. Everyone deserves a chance at a future filled with hope and safety.