Just before Christmas, my 4-year-old daughter caught the dreadful stomach bug circulating through her school. After hours of illness, she finally fell asleep on my chest in the early hours. I knew that more sleepless nights awaited us, but after four years of parenting, I find these moments less daunting.
As I lay in the dim light of her room, watching her breathe softly while she clutched her stuffed animal, I was overwhelmed by how everything felt so straightforward. To her, I was simply dad, caring for her. To me, she was my child—the one I would protect and love unconditionally. In those quiet moments, I can’t help but wonder what the legislators who vilify transgender individuals would say to us. Do they genuinely believe that my daughter should feel less loved or protected because I am trans? It’s heartbreaking to think that the world could harm my child simply because of my identity. How utterly unjust.
And what about the parents who have supported their trans children in similar circumstances? What message do they receive in this hostile climate? It’s a chilling reminder that their children, whom we cherish and welcome into this world with hope, can be made to feel unwanted or disposable.
Real people suffer because of laws like North Carolina’s House Bill 2 (H.B.2) and other anti-trans bills cropping up in state legislatures nationwide. These laws suggest that transgender individuals are a threat, implying that we wake up one day and arbitrarily decide to identify differently. That our existence somehow makes others uncomfortable, so we should be barred from sharing public spaces with our fellow citizens. But that’s not how it works.
No one chooses to struggle in a world filled with such animosity. The truth of our lives is anything but fabricated. Many of us endure years of painful self-denial before accepting our authentic selves. Emerging from that turmoil with vibrant lives, loving families, and hopeful visions, it’s devastating to face the vitriol coming from lawmakers across the country.
Yes, my body may not conform to societal expectations of gender, but why should that spark a movement against us? Human diversity is rich and complex, and it’s this very complexity that makes life beautiful.
Do you think my scars matter when my child needs a loving parent? Do they even register when I use public facilities? Is it worth enacting laws that imply my daughter’s father is unworthy of societal acceptance? Or worse, sending a message to children grappling with their identities that the world prefers they do not exist? Those scars from surgeries that have saved my life are a testament to the healthcare access I had, allowing me to thrive. They are symbols of survival, not reminders of regret as opponents of trans rights claim.
Having received adequate healthcare, a loving family, and community support has enabled me to reach adulthood—a privilege that many trans individuals, particularly femmes and women of color, tragically do not experience.
As an attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union, I take my responsibility seriously to advocate for my community. My days are spent battling against proposed and existing laws that communicate that trans individuals deserve no legal protection or, worse, should not exist at all.
Every day, I encounter arguments suggesting it would be simpler if transgender people simply vanished. One so-called expert defending North Carolina’s anti-trans legislation, Dr. Alan Foster, has claimed that transgender individuals are deluded. This fringe perspective, dismissed by major medical organizations like the American Medical Association and the American Psychological Association, is unfortunately shaping policies that harm transgender lives.
It’s unconscionable to advance these laws while trans youth suffer and die in their wake. Recent studies reveal that nearly 40% of trans individuals have considered suicide, a rate significantly higher than the general population. This statistic does not indicate that allowing trans individuals to exist is harmful to mental health; instead, it highlights the systemic discrimination and societal rejection they face.
Our healthcare is often denied, our right to use restrooms challenged, and our safety compromised. This relentless hostility can make life feel unbearable for trans individuals.
I’ve felt this despair, as did Maya Thompson, a 19-year-old trans woman from California. Tragically, Maya took her life just days before the New Year. Like many parents, her family likely spent sleepless nights cradling her in love, envisioning a bright future for her. But before she turned 20, those dreams were extinguished by a society unwilling to accept her. Love from parents is vital, but sometimes it’s not enough against overwhelming cruelty.
In mourning their daughter, Maya’s parents shared, “To be different in a world where difference is often not embraced is a challenge many may never fully understand. All we can do is strive to ease that struggle for others. Together, we can create a safer and kinder world for youth like Maya by treating everyone with dignity and respect, regardless of how different they might be.”
We face choices as individuals and as a society regarding the world we want to build. If we allow fear of differences to dictate our actions, we condemn young people like Maya to a reality that tells them they are unwelcome. We must do better.
I am proud to be trans. I am proud to advocate for my community. I am confident that, ultimately, we will create a safer and more compassionate world for our beautiful children and the elders who paved the way for our dreams. For more on this topic, you can explore our post about support for families navigating similar challenges here. And if you’re considering at-home insemination options, check out this reputable online retailer for syringes. Additionally, you can find excellent resources about pregnancy and home insemination here.
Summary:
In the face of increasing anti-trans legislation, a trans father and attorney passionately advocates for his family and community. He reflects on the deep love for his child and the harsh realities that trans individuals face, including discrimination, mental health struggles, and societal rejection. Through personal anecdotes and data, he highlights the urgent need for compassion and understanding, urging society to create a safer world for all individuals, especially the youth.