In our household, emotions run deep. It may not be unusual, but some days can feel overwhelming when everyone is feeling the full spectrum of emotions at once. Lately, I’ve found myself on an emotional roller coaster—whether it’s due to the hormonal shifts after having children or the challenges of managing three energetic toddlers, the reasons are numerous, and there’s no straightforward solution. This has led me to reflect on how I navigate my feelings and respond to my children’s emotions.
I admit I can get angry quickly, often raising my voice—a trait I’m not particularly proud of. When my feelings are hurt, I tend to withdraw and silence myself. Stress can creep up on me throughout the day, and I struggle to recognize that I can alleviate this stress simply by saying “no” or adjusting my plans.
As I watched my 2-year-old throw a tantrum, screaming with rage, it dawned on me that emotions can’t just be switched off at will. Yet, I often find myself telling my kids to “stop reacting like that” or “change your attitude,” without equipping them with the tools to manage their feelings effectively.
When anger strikes, I feel justified in my frustration, experiencing feelings of disappointment and discontent. I can articulate those emotions, but my children often lack the vocabulary and understanding to do the same. Emotions are complex and can manifest in various ways. Our little ones experience the same intense feelings we do, but their developing minds and limited life experiences mean that they haven’t yet learned how to cope.
Isn’t it my role as a parent to guide them through these feelings, helping them to understand and process their emotions? Part of my responsibility is to model self-control and demonstrate healthy emotional responses. While it may complicate my role as a mother, I firmly believe it’s vital. I want my children to learn not to suppress their emotions but to experience them fully and respond appropriately.
A friend of mine recently asked, “What’s the point?” She was grappling with understanding the validity of her anger toward someone, especially when it wouldn’t change the past or impact the future. I relate to this struggle; I often shy away from my emotions, fearing that my feelings might be too burdensome. However, children embrace their emotions wholeheartedly, drawing us into their whirlwind of joy and disappointment. Their big feelings can easily overwhelm their small hearts and minds.
Too often, I find myself hiding my emotions, feeling as though I am too much for others to handle. It can be tempting to discipline my children for their reactions without allowing them the space to feel and process those emotions. But emotions are not something to be ashamed of. They aren’t wrong or a sign of weakness. The only misstep lies in how we react to them. I can express my anger toward my spouse in a constructive way or resort to silence, hoping he’ll understand my hurt without me saying a word. Both reactions stem from the same emotion, yet one is far more productive than the other.
In our home, we have designated safe spaces where my children can express their feelings—whether it’s screaming on the couch, tossing stuffed animals in their room, or kicking the wall in their bedroom. I, too, have a space where I can retreat, sometimes finding solace in tears or prayer. We take the time to slow down, name our emotions, and explore why we feel the way we do—not to suppress those feelings, but to grow from them. Experiencing joy, sadness, excitement, and anger allows us to truly live and feel deeply.
I want my children to understand their emotions well enough to let those feelings empower them rather than allow external circumstances to dictate their responses. If you’re interested in exploring more about emotional well-being, check out this insightful post here. Additionally, if you’re considering home insemination, a reputable supplier like Make A Mom provides excellent at-home insemination kits. For further reading on pregnancy and home insemination, I recommend visiting CCRM IVF’s blog.
In summary, allowing my children to express their anger and other emotions is not only about providing them with a safe outlet but also about teaching them valuable lessons about emotional intelligence. By guiding them through their feelings, I hope they can grow into emotionally aware individuals who can navigate the complexities of life with confidence.