Let’s be real—periods are downright frustrating. After successfully avoiding this monthly inconvenience for two blissful years, Aunt Flo has decided to crash the party once again, all thanks to my waning nursing relationship with my youngest. And let me tell you, she’s not holding back!
I really didn’t miss this ordeal. Honestly, I’d be happy to nurse babies forever just to sidestep periods for good. It’s not enough that we women endure the struggles of pregnancy and childbirth, often taking on the brunt of early child-rearing responsibilities. So, after sacrificing our bodies for these tiny humans, we’re rewarded with cramps, a bloated belly that feels like a truck is rolling through it, and the ever-looming threat of embarrassing leaks. It’s really not fair.
There are just so many issues with this whole bleeding situation. For starters…
- Insatiable Hunger
All I want to do is eat EVERYTHING. I’m trying to maintain a decent physique, but suddenly, I’m overwhelmed by cravings for chocolate and wine. Seriously, just give me the goods or prepare for havoc! - The Bleeding
Let’s get real—why on earth does our body decide to shed its insides? It’s like shark week gone rogue! A little compassion from Mother Nature would’ve been appreciated. - Tampons Galore
Oh, the joys of tampons. Those cheerful commercials with girls in bikinis, diving into pools while confidently using Kotex? Yeah, right. That’s far from the reality of navigating a bloodbath. - Bathroom Battles
I love a good bathroom break, but it’s become a game of “Is it cramps or the need to poop?” And don’t even get me started on tampons trying to make their escape the moment I sit down! Enough already. - Mood Swings
I can’t handle myself during this time. One minute, I’m sobbing over a missed snack, and the next, I’m ready to throw punches. It’s exhausting! - Extra Supplies
After months of not needing to worry about menstrual supplies, I keep forgetting to bring them along. This means more trips to fetch tampons when I should be focusing on, you know, peeing! - Wardrobe Woes
Nothing fits right, and even when it does, my mood is so sour that I can’t stand the sight of my clothes. The struggle is real! - Explaining the Unexplainable
Most moms don’t get the luxury of privacy while going to the bathroom. So, while I’m trying to insert a tampon, I’m also fielding questions from my kid about why I’m doing it. “No, sweetie, I don’t have a penis. I’m a girl with a vagina!” Talk about too much information!
I’m over the bloated belly, the stained underwear, the relentless headaches, and the body aches. Periods—time to take a permanent exit!
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Summary
Periods bring a multitude of challenges—from insatiable cravings and mood swings to bathroom dilemmas and wardrobe issues. It’s time to address the frustrations that come with this monthly cycle, and maybe even find some humor in it all.