I can sense your disapproval. As you engage with our little one after dinner, I can feel your gaze when I chuckle or smile at my screen. I hear you grumble when you catch me multitasking between giving the baby a bath and texting, or when I’m lounging with our oldest while scrolling through social media. I know I have a bit of an obsession, but my reliance on this small device goes deeper than you might think.
Yes, I’ll admit it – I’m hooked on my phone. We’ve talked about the negative impacts this has on us individually and as a couple. We are both aware of the poor example it sets for our children. We’ve made promises to cut down on screen time, yet somehow it feels like we’ve backslid into worse habits than before. While I strive to improve my phone habits around the kids, my day-to-day life as a stay-at-home mom often feels isolating. My adult interactions are limited, and my companions consist of a lively toddler, a teething infant, and a dog.
Remember when our weekends were filled with friends and laughter? My social circle has dwindled significantly since graduating college, moving away, and starting a family. Nowadays, my conversations happen mainly through text and social media, as I can’t meet up with friends as often as I’d like.
Understanding My Extroverted Nature
Do you truly comprehend how extroverted I am? I know you understand the concept, but the reality may be different. I thrive in the company of others, preferably those older than five. When I spend too much time alone or just with the kids, I often feel lonely, prompting me to seek any excuse to venture out and engage with adults. I’ve become a regular at our local store, where even a brief chat at the checkout brings me joy.
As a new mom 11 years ago, online parenting groups were my saving grace. Now, with three children, those connections remain vital. These women offer invaluable support, whether I need reassurance about my baby’s feeding habits or someone to vent to after a tough day. They understand my journey and provide much-needed validation.
The Challenges of Motherhood
It’s not that I don’t want to be present in our life; rather, the confines of home can feel stifling. Managing three kids, even for a quick errand, can be incredibly daunting. Sometimes, it feels easier to sit with my lukewarm coffee, feeding the baby in my pajamas rather than trying to reclaim a sense of normalcy.
When you see me glued to my screen, I’m often reaching out to a friend for advice or sharing a laugh over something we found amusing online. My support network is predominantly virtual, and while it has its downsides, it also provides me with a sense of community. I understand your frustration with my phone habits, and I acknowledge your concerns. However, what you may not realize is just how essential these connections are to me, especially as I navigate this new phase of life. It’s comforting to hear that I’m doing a good job, and sometimes I need that affirmation from my online village.
Moving Forward
I don’t expect you to fully grasp my feelings, but I want you to know that I’m trying. Each day brings new challenges, and I hope to slowly rediscover my old self. I know you miss who I used to be, and trust me, I miss her too. Until then, my coffee’s gone cold, my patience is wearing thin, and my social life fits snugly in my back pocket.
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In summary, my phone is not just a device; it’s a lifeline to my support system and a tool for navigating the challenges of motherhood. I hope this sheds some light on my behavior and the importance of these connections.