When I was pregnant, I didn’t experience the picture-perfect journey that many people describe. Instead, I battled nausea around the clock and anxiously awaited the day I could finally hold my baby. During those long nine months, well-meaning friends and family offered me a slew of clichéd advice that I brushed off, despite the hormonal frustration building inside me.
Once my son arrived, the initial joy was overshadowed by an unexpected turn. He was immediately taken to the NICU, and I wasn’t able to see him for a full day due to a high fever. The moment I did get to hold him, relief washed over me. He was healthy, had ten tiny toes, ten adorable fingers, and a head full of hair. I thought I could finally breathe easy.
His first year was filled with milestones, celebrated with dancing and singing, but soon, progress slowed. Concerned, my husband and I sought medical advice and learned that our son might be on the autism spectrum. Initially, I was reluctant to accept that diagnosis, convinced it couldn’t be true. I had no real understanding of what autism meant, believing it was merely a delay in development. Over time, I learned just how common autism is—affecting 1 in 68 children in the U.S.
As I navigated this journey, I realized that I had unknowingly committed many social blunders when speaking with other parents of children with special needs. I found myself annoyed by comments that echoed the very things I had previously said before becoming a special needs parent. However, after years of learning, I’ve come to appreciate the lessons my son has taught me about patience and understanding.
If you know a parent of a child with special needs, here are five things to avoid saying:
- “I’m so sorry.”
When someone passes away, saying “I’m sorry” is appropriate. But hearing it in relation to my son’s autism feels like a tragedy when it’s not. Autism is a disorder, but it doesn’t warrant pity. In fact, it’s a part of who he is, and many children like him thrive. - “I don’t know how you do it.”
While you might mean this as a compliment, it often feels like a backhanded remark. The truth is, when you become a parent, your instinct to protect and advocate for your child kicks in, and you do what you must without any other option. - “You should get a second opinion.”
For parents navigating the world of autism, seeking multiple opinions is standard practice. We’ve already consulted numerous specialists to understand our son’s needs. Trust that we’re already on this path. - “I know someone who knows someone with autism.”
While this might seem like an attempt to relate, unless you’ve directly interacted with autistic children, your experience doesn’t truly resonate with mine. Autism is a spectrum, and every child exhibits different traits and challenges. - “I have a chiropractor/holistic doctor who can fix him.”
This type of suggestion is not only unhelpful but also implies that my child is broken. He is perfect as he is—my son has taught me invaluable lessons, and we are navigating this journey together.
Understanding the nuances of parenting a child with special needs can be challenging, but it’s essential to approach these conversations with empathy. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination and pregnancy, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. You can also find at-home insemination syringe kits at a reputable online retailer.
In summary, navigating the world of special needs parenting comes with its own set of challenges. By avoiding some common phrases that can unintentionally hurt, we can foster a more understanding and supportive environment for all families.