If I could turn back time, I might think twice about becoming a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). There, I said it.
Now, don’t get me wrong. When I made the choice 13 years ago to stay home with my first child, it felt like the right decision for our family. We were just starting our journey, and it made financial sense for me to manage the home while my partner worked. After years of climbing the corporate ladder, I looked forward to slowing down and fully embracing the joys of motherhood.
I left behind a rewarding career, and I didn’t look back.
The following years were filled with the daily challenges of parenthood—diapers, bottles, and the occasional meltdown. I found meaning in nurturing my children, and for a long while, being a mom was enough. I was content to let my children take center stage, pushing aside the nagging thought that I might have made a mistake by stepping away from my professional life. For the most part, I managed to quiet that inner voice, tucking it away in the back of my mind.
But now, things are different.
My kids are older, aged 10 and 13, and they require less of my time. The house is often peaceful after they leave for school, and there’s only so much laundry one can do before feeling restless. After a period of adjustment when my daughter started full-time school, I found a balance, picking up a few freelance projects while still being there for my family. I felt like I was getting the best of both worlds—balancing my professional aspirations with my role as a mom.
However, the pull to reconnect with my career is growing stronger. As my freelance writing takes off and new opportunities arise, I find myself torn between my responsibilities at home and my ambition.
Looking at the piles of laundry and the dishes that need washing, I can’t help but wonder, when is it my turn? I’ve started to feel resentful that my mom duties are holding me back. I’m frustrated with myself for being so attentive to my family that it’s noticeable when the laundry is behind or the pantry is bare. It feels like I’m fighting a never-ending battle with the laundry machine. I’m ready to step up, take charge, and focus on my own professional needs. The kids are capable of handling their own laundry now, and no one will suffer if we eat off paper plates for a while. Changes are on the horizon because this mama has dreams to chase.
So, when do I get to leave my SAHM role behind and dive back into my career? The time is now, and I have no regrets.
For 13 years, I’ve devoted myself to my family, placing my career on hold. Now, I’m prepared to revive it and breathe new life into my professional aspirations. I won’t apologize for wanting to shift my focus from being solely a mom to embracing the woman I once was—one whose kids will soon be heading to college. Just as I adapted when my youngest started school, I’m realizing that I still have many years ahead to pursue my dreams and reclaim what I left behind when my children were born.
I’m ready to be a little selfish in my choices. I can make decisions about my career without the weight of carpool schedules or school plays. I can dedicate long hours to projects that ignite my creative spark, meet my partner for drinks after work, and engage in conversations that don’t revolve around our children’s latest milestones.
While I wouldn’t change the experiences I’ve had with my kids as they grew, I still ask myself how I so easily walked away from my professional life. The journey back to who I used to be will make any future achievements that much sweeter. I once was a woman with a thriving career and ambitious goals. I will always be a mother, and that part of me will never change. But soon, I will rediscover the real me, and I can’t wait for that moment.
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Summary
After spending 13 years as a stay-at-home mom, I find myself ready to reconnect with my career. As my children grow more independent, the desire to pursue my professional dreams has intensified. While I cherish my time as a mother, I am determined to take charge of my ambitions and rediscover the woman I used to be.