Episode Two: Bridal Photoshoots as the Ultimate First Date
The episode kicks off with Chris Harrison asking the contestants about their initial thoughts on Nick. I was secretly hoping one of them would exclaim, “I completely understand why he’s still single,” but alas, that didn’t happen because network television can be painfully predictable.
We’re informed there will be three dates this week: two group dates and one solo date. Chris states, “There are 22 of you, so it’s impossible for all of you to have dates each week. Therefore, not everyone will get time with Nick this week.” Wait, what? Does Chris even grasp the meaning of “group”? How can it be “impossible” when there are more than enough participants? Did the rental service run out of vans? What’s going on?
He leaves the women in a state of mild panic: “When you do get time with Nick, make sure to seize it.” The camera pans across the room, capturing the angst and determination etched on their faces. Corinne starts to sweat and wails, “My daddy promised I would have a date!” She’s clearly in full meltdown mode.
Just kidding! I should really be in charge of producing this show. It would be so much more thrilling.
The first date card arrives, inciting a frenzy among the women. Corinne’s name is called first, and we collectively cringe. The card reads, “Always a bridesmaid…” which could either refer to Nick’s past flops in love or the fact that those selected for this group date are often the B team. Not sure which one it is.
Corinne says, “I’ve never been a bridesmaid. I think I’m just a natural-born bride.” LOL, not quite, girl. You don’t have any friends because you’re insufferable.
They all pile into convertibles, acting astonished that they’re “actually going on a date with Nick today!” Have they never seen this show? It’s literally always about dates.
Once they arrive at the group date, Nick greets them with, “I feel so fortunate to have met 30 wonderful women.” Seriously, why do I put myself through this? Nick then hugs each contestant, and while ABC doesn’t air every hug, they should. He muses about how awkward group dates can be, clearly forgetting he’s the one who’s been on this merry-go-round before.
The photo shoot they’re about to embark on is beyond bizarre. A rack of bridal gowns awaits, and Nick claims, “This date is meant to break the ice.” Right, because what could be more relaxing than slipping into a wedding gown on your first date? The kicker? There aren’t enough gowns, so some women will have to wear bridesmaid dresses. Of course. The creepy photographer decides who “wins” based on chemistry.
Corinne can’t stop bragging about being the first to kiss Nick. We all hope she’ll be the first to be sent home. “I am definitely the hottest bride,” she declares, sporting a gown with a bikini top. Brittany struts out in even less fabric, and we can’t help but root for her.
Now we’re subjected to the endless photo shoots… ZZZZZ. The photographer dresses Nick like he belongs in some retro band, which is unintentionally hilarious.
Back at the house, the ladies speculate that Corinne will snag the first rose since she kissed Nick first. Liz is there, looking smug, as if she wants to shout, “I kissed him first! At Jade’s wedding! And we had sex!” But she keeps quiet.
The photo shoot resumes, and Corinne goes all out to overshadow the previous costumes, even removing her top for a risqué shot. It’s cringe-worthy. Shockingly, she wins, likely due to the photographer’s cultural bias against decency.
Meanwhile, Danielle M. is set for the first solo date, and Liz can’t help but express her “excitement” while glaring at the screen, revealing her true feelings.
Back to the group date, where Corinne monopolizes Nick’s time, interrupting other women and even bragging, “I think my nipple was out the whole time!” Charming. The other contestants are visibly annoyed, and honestly, this could easily turn into a murder mystery show.
Corinne interrupts yet again, and Nick appears to enjoy it—or at least he pretends to. She refers to herself in the third person, which just solidifies our disdain for her. The rose comes out, and in a shocking twist, Nick gives it to Corinne. WHAT? I’m ready to throw my TV out the window.
Just kidding, I can’t quit this show. But seriously, Nick?
The one-on-one date with Danielle is a snoozefest. Meanwhile, Liz blabs to one of the girls (Kristin) about sleeping with Nick. Back to Danielle, who opens up about her late fiancé. Nick’s suggestion to “replicate the feelings” she had for her ex in future relationships is undeniably awkward.
During the second group date, Nick takes the women to the Museum of Broken Relationships—yes, this is an actual place. Inside, there’s a dead rose and the engagement ring he picked out for Kaitlin. Seriously, can’t he move on?
The ladies are instructed to pretend to break up with Nick, which is just bizarre. Liz starts to cry because she clearly doesn’t understand how strange it is to show up on a reality show with your one-night stand.
Nick is visibly put off by Liz’s emotional outburst and confronts her about whether she’s using their past for camera time. He simply can’t wrap his head around it. “The more I talk to Liz, the less she makes sense,” he remarks in a sidebar.
“Just trying to be honest and upfront with you, I feel like there’s other things going on with the other women, and based on our past conversations, I’ve gained clarity.”
Boom. “I just don’t think we have a future.”
Liz’s expression could curdle milk as she begrudgingly accepts the walk to the car. Why do they always accept that? If I were sent home, I’d be like, “Sayonara, jerk. Forget my name!”
Nick returns to the group to spill the tea about his history with Liz, leaving everyone shocked, as if they’ve never heard of two adults getting drunk and hooking up. Next week promises tears, drama, and confusion around the concept of consenting adults engaging in adult activities. It seems Corinne might be having a meltdown.
Can’t wait for the next episode!
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Summary:
In the second episode of ‘The Bachelor,’ chaos reigns as contestants vie for Nick’s attention during awkward bridal-themed group dates. Corinne steals the spotlight with her antics, earning a rose despite the other women’s frustrations. Liz’s revelation about her past with Nick complicates matters, setting the stage for imminent drama.