As a parent, I know that the “cry-it-out” method can spark heated discussions. It seems impossible to browse the internet without encountering passionate opinions about whether leaving your little ones to cry themselves to sleep is an acceptable practice. Today, I want to share my personal journey and the positive outcomes of my choice, so you can feel supported on your own parenting path.
When I became a mom a decade ago, I wasn’t exactly bombarded with the overwhelming amount of guidance that new parents face today. If I were starting my family now, I can only imagine how daunting it would be to navigate the sea of opinions and judgments on topics like co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and of course, cry-it-out. It’s exhausting, and it seems like no matter what decision you make, someone will have something to say about it.
If you were to dive into the details of cry-it-out today, you might feel compelled to swaddle your baby and hide away in a corner, fearing the worst for their future. It’s astonishing how vocal people can be about parenting choices. However, I want to share my experience with CIO because my kids—now ages 5 and 10—are fantastic sleepers, and I wish I had known about this happy outcome during the sleepless nights.
In those tough early days, as I listened to my babies cry and hiccup, I reminded myself that I was giving them a valuable lesson in self-soothing and the ability to fall asleep independently. Yes, it was painful. Yes, I cried too. But did it work? Absolutely. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate, especially knowing that it would lead to a lifetime of healthy sleep habits for our family.
Understanding the Cry-It-Out Method
For those unfamiliar with the term “cry-it-out” (CIO), it describes the approach parents take when they desperately need their babies to sleep through the night. When my first child arrived, I was juggling a demanding job and needed sleep more than anything. My son seemed to think that 3 a.m. was party time, and I quickly realized that we all needed some sleep. After conducting my research, CIO appeared to be the most effective solution.
The method typically involves allowing your baby to cry for a short period while you check in occasionally, reinforcing that you’re there, but it’s time to sleep. The goal is for them to learn self-soothing and to fall asleep on their own. We began CIO with our first child around 8 months and a bit earlier with our second. After ensuring they were well-fed, dry, and comfortable, we placed them in their cribs while they were drowsy but awake. Then the crying began.
Those first two nights were agonizing for me. My husband was more composed, but I felt like a terrible parent. Our instincts drive us to comfort our children in distress, and I found myself counting down the seconds before I could rush in and provide some reassurance. It felt like an eternity.
But then, something incredible happened around night three or four: they slept! They woke up after around eight hours, gurgling and smiling, and it felt like a miracle. Yes, we faced some setbacks along the way, but overall, they developed great sleep habits. Now, they go to bed when we want them to and sleep soundly through the night in their own beds.
My Experience and Insights
Contrary to what many anti-CIO advocates might claim, my children are well-adjusted, kind, and intelligent. Research even backs up that this method does not harm babies. So, if you find yourself in the middle of a CIO session, remember this mantra: “I am not harming my baby; I am equipping them with a valuable life skill.”
CIO was transformative for our family. Let me clarify: this method is not about letting a hungry newborn cry endlessly. I want to extend support to other parents who might be struggling and just need a few quiet hours of sleep to get through this chaotic but rewarding journey. You are not a bad parent; you are doing what’s best for your family, and everything will turn out just fine.
Additional Resources
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Summary
The cry-it-out method transformed my children into excellent sleepers. While it was a challenging process, the long-term benefits have made it worth it. If you’re a parent considering this approach, remember that you’re not alone, and you’re doing what’s best for your family.