Let’s imagine a scenario where your child is eager to play outside with friends, but first, they need to tackle their chore of washing the dishes. They rush through it, and when you check, there are still remnants of food stuck on several plates. You have two choices: finish the task yourself, feeling annoyed, or call them back to the sink and say, “This isn’t going to cut it.” In my home, it’s the latter that takes precedence, earning me the nickname of “Meanest Mom Ever.”
One of my unwavering rules is that I don’t permit my kids to half-heartedly do anything—whether it’s a poorly scrubbed bathroom or a hastily written paragraph for school. I promptly give a thumbs-down to anything that doesn’t meet the standard I know they’re capable of achieving. Sure, I could step in and do the job for them when it comes to household responsibilities, but what does that teach? It only conveys that minimal effort is acceptable and that someone will always be there to clean up their mess. I refuse to be the enabler that allows them to glide through life on the bare minimum.
Now, I’m not saying that I expect perfection, especially when they’re trying something new; we all know there’s a learning curve, and I’m more than willing to give them some leeway for initial mistakes. However, when they are fully aware of what’s expected and they have the ability to meet those expectations, I see no reason why they shouldn’t do it to a certain standard. If they cut corners or show laziness, then they get the pleasure of doing it again—the right way this time.
Of course, it can be challenging because kids often lack motivation when it comes to chores and schoolwork, and they frequently test boundaries. It’s no surprise that they often get upset when I insist they redo something. I have to endure a fair share of whining, sulking, and grumpy expressions. Does it get tiring? Absolutely! I could save myself a lot of hassle by accepting their subpar efforts. But as I grit my teeth and hold my ground, I remind myself that this is for their own good. If I don’t instill a sense of pride in their work, who will?
One day, they’ll encounter someone in the real world—a college professor, a boss, or perhaps a drill sergeant—who will expect their best. If they’ve grown accustomed to skirting by with minimal effort, they will face a rude awakening. By not demanding their best now, I am inadvertently telling them that it’s acceptable to slack off, to deliver mediocrity, and to aim for the bare minimum. That mindset won’t serve them well and will hinder their potential, which is something I absolutely do not want for them.
I know my kids are capable and intelligent. By firmly holding them to high standards, I’m equipping them with essential life skills—because doing a task right the first time will save them time and effort in the long run. They don’t have to be the best, but I expect them to give their personal best. Even when their efforts fall short, I can discern between genuine attempts and sheer laziness.
I don’t demand perfection from my children, but I do expect genuine effort in everything they do. They’ve learned this from an early age, which is why my youngest recently told me he “used his whole effort” on a school project. Perhaps I should adopt that as my mantra. It’s certainly better to invest your full effort than to be an “effortless” individual.
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