Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 6, 2017
Anyone who suffers from migraines knows they are far more than just a typical headache. In fact, the headache is often the least of my concerns. For me, a migraine feels like a full-body assault.
My migraine episodes typically kick off with blurry vision, a hint of nausea, and a dash of dizziness. If my body is particularly irritable, I’ll get an “aura.” It usually begins with partial blindness in one eye, followed by a swirling, flashing light that engulfs my field of vision before retreating after about 30 minutes.
The first time I experienced an aura, I genuinely thought I was having a stroke. Fast forward fifteen years, and while I’ve had countless auras, I’ve learned to reassure myself that I’m not dying and that my vision will return shortly. Nevertheless, the fear still grips me every time.
Once the aura subsides, the pain sets in. For me, it’s a relentless throbbing that radiates throughout my body, particularly on one side of my head, into my neck, and down my back. Everything feels tight and sore, akin to the aftermath of running a marathon or the onset of the flu. This agony can last a few hours, or in some cases, even days.
In the grand scheme of things, I consider myself fortunate. I don’t experience migraines daily, weekly, or even monthly. However, I typically endure at least one episode per month (often aligning with my menstrual cycle). More can strike when life becomes particularly overwhelming or stressful.
But perhaps the most challenging aspect of having migraines is navigating motherhood while dealing with them. The combination of migraines and being a mom is a cruel twist of fate. Whoever thought it was acceptable for mothers to endure migraines was certainly playing a cruel joke on us all.
The unpredictable nature of migraines can be terrifying. I remember the sheer panic of worrying that I might experience an aura while driving with my kids—having to pull over unexpectedly and listen to their cries while I’m dizzy, half-blind, and on the verge of losing it.
Just the uncertainty of migraines keeps me in a constant state of anxiety. And when I do find myself in the throes of a migraine, one of the many symptoms is heightened sensitivity to sound. We all know that when Mom isn’t feeling well, kids tend to act out, leading to a cacophony of high-pitched whining and chaos.
Moreover, young children often don’t grasp the concept of migraines. They continue to demand attention and make requests when all I crave is a moment of quiet, darkness, and peace.
Recently, I found myself in the grip of a migraine attack—one that followed closely after another just weeks prior. As I often do, I turned to the internet, obsessively reviewing a list of potential triggers to identify what might have led to this onslaught and how to prevent the next one. Stress, sleep disturbances, loud noises, hormonal fluctuations—you name it. Upon reviewing this list, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Half of these triggers perfectly encapsulate the realities of motherhood.
Essentially, parenting itself can spark a migraine episode and then exacerbate the pain once it strikes. Plus, the self-care routines that could help prevent them are nearly impossible to maintain when you’re a mom.
So, are we mother migraine sufferers doomed? Well, not exactly.
There’s always medication—both preventive options and treatments for acute symptoms. Never hesitate to talk to your doctor about finding relief. Many have also found alternative therapies like acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, and dietary modifications beneficial.
However, these solutions don’t work for everyone. Even healthcare professionals can be baffled by migraines, often suggesting that avoiding triggers is the best way to manage them.
For me, if I find myself deep in a cycle of migraines, it signals that I’m particularly worn out and need to prioritize self-care—though that can feel impossible as a parent. Lately, I’ve been working on saying “no” to anything that adds stress to my life. I’ll cancel plans, let my kids zone out with their iPads, and prioritize catching up on sleep. This approach usually keeps migraine symptoms at bay for at least a little while.
Additionally, I try to practice self-care during the migraine itself. In the past, I’ve made the mistake of trying to be a martyr, insisting on doing everything for my kids while battling symptoms I wouldn’t wish on anyone. However, I’ve recently learned to communicate my needs to my family, letting them know when I require some space and that they can manage on their own for a bit. This strategy speeds up my recovery, benefiting everyone involved.
Most importantly, it teaches my kids empathy. They learn that physical ailments aren’t always visible and that sometimes even their mom needs a break to recharge.
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In summary, managing migraines while navigating motherhood is no small feat. By prioritizing self-care and communicating your needs, you can create a more compassionate environment for both you and your children.