As dawn broke over the expansive fields of Iowa, I glanced in the rearview mirror at my kids during our cross-country road trip. My daughter was peacefully napping, while my son’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he caught my gaze. Gone were the days of car seats; now, at 13, he flashed me a grin and said, “I’m really enjoying this trip with you, Mom.” In that moment, I felt a wave of appreciation for the sweet spot of parenting teens.
The challenges of raising teenagers are well-documented—it’s no secret that this phase tests your patience like never before. Between eye-rolls, slammed doors, and awkward conversations about relationships and hormones, guiding your kids through adolescence can feel overwhelming. I’ve had my fair share of dinner-time discussions that veer into territory I never imagined, and yes, the wine consumption has skyrocketed.
Yet, amidst the chaos, I find that parenting a tween and a young teen has become one of my favorite stages. Despite all the warnings from friends about the trials of adolescence, I’ve discovered that, much like toddlers, teens bring their own unique joys. They’re starting to become their own people, and I cherish the moments we share.
As they transition into their teenage years, the burdens of constant caregiving ease. No more bedtime battles or endless requests for assistance—teens can make their own sandwiches, tie their shoes, and even shower without help. Sure, there are still challenges, and I often feel like I’m navigating a minefield of eye-rolls, but it’s undeniably easier on the physical front. The day I realized my daughter could reach the cabinet and could help with unloading the dishwasher was a major victory.
I’ll admit, there are times when I catch a glimpse of baby photos on social media and feel a pang of nostalgia for those days filled with cuddles and storytime. But any longing quickly dissipates when I remember that our home is no longer filled with tantrums and noisy toys. Now, I find solace in snuggling on the couch, sharing classic ’80s films with my teens—I definitely don’t miss the days of Sesame Street.
Adolescence is tough, and there are days when they really know how to test my limits. However, there’s a unique sweet spot around ages 12 and 13 where I sometimes wish I could freeze time. At this age, they’re too young for late-night parties but too old for playdates, making them more inclined to spend time with their parents. I’ve come to realize that I learn so much about their lives simply by sharing a bowl of ice cream or playing a board game together. The relaxed bedtime routines and years of parenting experience have allowed me to be more present and engaged, and I find myself laughing at their jokes—appreciating the remarkable individuals they’re evolving into.
In those cherished moments, amid my daughter’s dramatic sighs and my son’s humorous rebuttals to my rules, I am grateful that the toddler years are behind us. Exposing my kids to art, culture, and my true self has made me embrace this phase of parenting. While I could do without the frequent eye-rolls, I savor the times when their personalities shine and I catch glimpses of the adults they will one day be.
As we cruised down that Iowa highway, the sun brightened the sky and clouds turned a brilliant pink. My daughter woke just in time for a Bon Jovi song to play on the radio. My son shouted, “Turn it up, Mom!” and as we all sang together, I felt grateful that they still indulge my taste in ’80s music.
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In summary, while parenting teens can be challenging, there are also rewarding moments that make it worthwhile. Embrace the journey and enjoy the unique experiences that come with raising young adults.