After welcoming our third child, Sarah began to notice unwanted dark spots on her skin, prompting her to reach for makeup. Strangely, I found myself arguing against it.
“You’re naturally beautiful. You’ve never needed makeup,” I insisted.
In our bedroom, as she dabbed foundation onto her chin in the bathroom mirror, I couldn’t help but reflect on our nine years of marriage. The idea of Sarah wearing makeup was more surprising to me than the revelation that she had never used it before. With three kids and having lived in multiple states, we had experienced a lot together.
The first time I remember seeing her in makeup was on our wedding day. A touch of blush and a hint of eyeliner complemented her natural beauty; it was subtle. That day, she looked radiant, but it was her smile that truly captivated me. Her sly smile, the way her cheeks lifted at the corners, and her hair styled in a simple braid created an image that was unforgettable.
What drew me to Sarah wasn’t just her looks; it was the warmth in her laughter, the way she carried herself, and the confidence that shone through her personality. She encouraged me to pursue further education, even as a late bloomer, and I’m not entirely sure what it was that made me fall in love with her, but I know that makeup wasn’t a factor.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Sarah turned to me with a cheeky smile, one hand on her hip and a small mirror in the other.
“It’s not about how you see me,” she said. “I know you think I’m beautiful.” Her expression shifted slightly, conveying that I was missing the point.
She paused, searching for the right words. “People don’t see me the way you do. I don’t feel beautiful anymore, and these blemishes make me feel terrible. I just don’t want others to notice them.”
We went back and forth, with me insisting on her natural beauty while she expressed how the spots affected her self-image. Words like “old” and “ugly” escaped her lips, while I continued to praise her. I insisted that if others couldn’t see her beauty, it was their loss.
“No,” she countered, “it’s my problem.” I could sense a mix of frustration and sadness in her tone, and then she said something that struck a chord with me.
“The thing is, your opinion about how I look isn’t the only one that matters.” It wasn’t said in anger or sorrow but with a gentle acknowledgment of the reality many women face.
After that conversation, Sarah began wearing makeup every day. Interestingly, my perception of her beauty remained unchanged. Her smile still had that familiar curve, and her delightful personality shone through just as it always had. The only real change was in how she viewed herself.
Over the years, I’ve come to recognize that my opinion isn’t the sole measure of her beauty. I’ve learned that beauty standards are often shaped by society, influenced by marketing and media. Despite loving Sarah just the way she is, I’ve realized that a little makeup boosts her confidence. It’s evident that she feels better about herself, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ultimately, it’s Sarah’s choice whether to wear makeup, and I fully support her decision. One morning, nearly two years after our initial discussion, I brought it up again as she prepared in front of the mirror. I told her that I will always find her beautiful, but more importantly, I want her to feel beautiful too.
“I admit that understanding what makes someone feel beautiful is complex, but if makeup helps you feel that way, then I’m all for it.”
She smiled back at me, and instead of saying, “I told you so,” she leaned in for a kiss and simply said, “Thank you.”
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Summary
This article reflects on the journey of recognizing the multifaceted nature of beauty in relationships. It highlights the importance of self-perception, the role of makeup in boosting confidence, and the realization that a partner’s opinion is just one of many that contribute to how someone feels about their beauty.