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Life’s Challenges: A Shared Reality We Can All Relate To
by Sarah Jennings
Jan. 1, 2024
“Life can be tough sometimes, right?” my friend Emma texted me last week.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
We were attempting to coordinate a get-together for the following weekend, but the usual hurdles—kids’ activities, travel plans, and daily commitments—were proving to be insurmountable. I miss Emma, and I know she misses me too. It’s disappointing when life gets in the way.
Just this morning, I woke up to a dripping bathroom sink. The shower door decided to go rogue, and one of my dogs had managed to make a mess on my son’s piano book. Meanwhile, the other dog (or perhaps the same one?) left an unfortunate surprise across the living room, dining area, kitchen, and family room. Our morning was a whirlwind of rushing to school and quick goodbyes. I felt teetering on the edge of tears the entire day. For reasons I can’t quite pinpoint, some days are just difficult. Today was one of them.
“Parenting is really challenging,” my friend texted me this afternoon. “It’s like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without a safety net or a clue about what to do next.”
“I relate to that more often than not,” I responded.
The relentless questions and doubts can be overwhelming. Are the kids getting enough rest? Are we engaging in enough reading time together? How old is too old for a blanket and thumb-sucking? Should I allow my son to play football? Should they be involved in more activities, or fewer? With every new stage and question, it feels like I’m leaping off a cliff. Most days, I’m left feeling inadequate in one way or another. Parenting is tough sometimes.
Friendships are hard. Relationships can be complicated. Work demands are relentless. Life can feel heavy. Sometimes, it all becomes too much.
By simply acknowledging that life is hard, I know I’m wading into murky waters. It’s not an easy truth to share. We prefer to focus on the good, the fine, and the okay. It’s simpler to discuss hardships after we’ve emerged from them. We reflect on past struggles once we’ve found our footing again.
The tendency to recount our difficulties from a place of resolution is something that frustrates me, especially in creative nonfiction. We often narrate our struggles only after we’ve overcome them. We share our burdens once we’ve set them down, celebrating our triumphs. But what about when we’re still grappling with those challenges? What about the moments when we’re overwhelmed, still lost in the fog, or wrestling with our demons? Where are the stories that say, “I’m right there with you”?
In the throes of hardship, it’s easy to convince myself of the biggest lie: You’re alone in this. No one else could possibly understand.
Many of life’s most meaningful experiences are tough. Parenting is undeniably challenging. Maintaining a marriage can become a daunting task, especially while raising young children. Finding the time and energy for friendships can be awkward and inconvenient, particularly when distances separate you. Let’s face it: just being an adult can be brutally hard at times.
Some of life’s most beautiful experiences—parenting, marriage, friendships—carry an underbelly of grit. Pretending that these aspects are always pristine does a disservice to their depth. We don’t diminish their beauty by acknowledging the hard, messy parts. The beauty of life remains intact, even when we admit that sometimes it feels overwhelmingly difficult.
Every day, I’m reminded of the richness and splendor of life, even on the hardest days. I’m grateful for my children, even when parenting feels like navigating a minefield. I appreciate my husband, family, and friends, even when life’s busyness complicates our connections and the nuances of our affections get lost in translation.
Tonight, Emma and I texted about finding a time to meet. With a thousand miles and the demands of life between us, making it happen isn’t easy. We both acknowledged that yes, life can be quite hard sometimes. Admitting to that difficulty while we’re in the thick of it doesn’t come naturally. We started planning for another girls’ weekend soon.
“Let’s have noodle salad!” I texted back, referencing a memorable quote from the movie As Good as It Gets. In it, Jack Nicholson’s character observes, “Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends, and noodle salad. Just not here in this car. But for many, that is their story. Good times, noodle salad.”
We had first watched that film nearly 20 years ago, spending a weekend at my grandparents’ lake house. There were boats, friends, and, of course, noodle salad. Good times and noodle salad.
The reality is that sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it feels like every aspect of life is weighed down with difficulty. And sometimes, it’s not—it’s filled with beautiful stories and sunny days by the water. Often, it’s a blend of both, because the most precious things in life are usually a mix of challenges and joys.
Maybe the key lies in creating those “good times” even when we feel like we’re teetering on the edge or wandering through the wilderness. Perhaps it’s about enjoying noodle salad, even when it’s heavy on the mayo and the noodles are overcooked, all while the kids are crying, “But I don’t like noodle salad! I want pizza!” And by “noodle salad,” I think you understand that I really mean indulging in cookie dough and sipping wine while texting a friend about how incredibly tough things can feel.
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In summary, life can be a complex tapestry of joy and struggle. Embracing both the difficult and beautiful moments gives us a fuller understanding of our experiences.