Ah, New Year’s Eve! It used to be my favorite night of the year—before I became a parent. Now, I find myself dreading the night, especially the typical party scene that many of us remember fondly. Here’s a glimpse into what New Year’s Eve is like as a parent.
Finding a Sitter
Unless you secured a babysitter months in advance, you’re likely to experience a monumental challenge in finding someone to watch your kids. The chances of finding a reliable teen or college student willing to take on this night are slim to none. And if you do manage to snag one, brace yourself for rates that skyrocket as your desperation becomes evident.
The Dilemma of Wardrobe Choices
You’ll find yourself rummaging through your closet, contemplating whether you can pull off that sequined top with yoga pants. After all, who will even notice? Spoiler alert: they will.
The Midnight Struggle
By 9 p.m., exhaustion will have set in, yet you’ll still need to muster enough energy to stay up for three more hours, all while pretending to be thrilled about it. Keeping up an entertaining facade for the night is far more taxing than childbirth itself.
The Resolution Interrogation
You’ll inevitably be asked about your New Year’s resolutions while quietly thinking that merely surviving another year of parenthood should suffice. Your unspoken goals might include losing that baby weight from a decade ago, being a tad nicer to your partner (at least in the morning), and finally getting your life organized—whatever that means.
Costing More Than You Bargained For
You’ll learn the hard way about the “Rule of 120.” By the end of the night, you could easily spend $120 on a babysitter, another $120 for a fixed menu for two, plus $120 on drinks, and then fork out $47 for that late-night pizza run. Just imagine what responsible purchases you could have made instead!
Going Out with Non-Parents
Being out with friends who don’t have kids? It’s an eye-opener. Their energy levels will leave you feeling resentful, especially knowing they can sleep in until 1 p.m. without a care.
The Parent Night Out Experience
If you decide to venture out with fellow parents, expect one of two outcomes: either you’ll spend the night discussing your kids, realizing you could’ve just stayed home, or you’ll engage in a wild night out, leading your partner to question why he didn’t just let you stay in.
Midnight Fireworks
As the clock strikes twelve, the fireworks will erupt. You’ll find yourself whispering to your husband that if those sounds wake the kids, you’ll be on a hunt for the culprits.
Regretful Social Media Posts
And then there are the 12:03 a.m. selfies that will haunt you later. If there were a look that captured “tired as a mother,” you’ve nailed it.
The Early Rise
Prepare for an early wake-up call at 5:45 a.m., regardless of how late you stayed up or how much champagne you consumed. It seems kids have a sixth sense for early mornings, especially on New Year’s Day.
Coffee and Aspirin, Please!
You’ll need copious amounts of coffee and aspirin to recover, only to find you’re out of both. Suddenly, you’d trade your firstborn for a large cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts—extra cream, extra sugar, and extra survival.
Experiencing Mom Guilt
The next morning, after all the money spent and feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck, you’ll realize that snuggling with your kids while sipping sparkling cider and calling it a night at 9:15 p.m. would have been bliss.
The Noisemaker Nightmare
Your kids will play with those annoying New Year’s noisemakers for months, only for you to throw them away in a fit of rage come April.
Planning Ahead for Next Year
And as the night comes to a close, you’ll start formulating your excuse for next New Year’s Eve nearly a year in advance. Something like, “Sorry, we’re staying in. Couldn’t find a sitter. Have fun, I’m super jealous!”
But here’s the silver lining: after having kids, you realize that the best place to be is wherever you feel most comfortable. Often, that place is home with your family, donned in your yoga pants. Here’s to another year of surviving parenthood, cherishing our amazing bodies, being a tad kinder to our partners (at least in the morning), and perhaps, just maybe, finally getting our lives together. And if not, there’s always next year.
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Summary
New Year’s Eve changes drastically once you become a parent. From the struggle of finding a babysitter to the exhaustion of staying up late, it’s a night filled with challenges and unexpected moments. Ultimately, the best place to celebrate is often at home with family, embracing the chaos of parenthood.