Why the Tween Years Are the Most Stressful for Moms

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Parenting a tween can be an even greater challenge than navigating the newborn stage. When you have a baby, you’re bombarded with advice and support, which can be both comforting and overwhelming. However, as your child grows, that well of parental solidarity tends to dry up just when you need it the most. A recent study reveals that the stress levels for mothers of tweens are alarmingly high, making this phase more taxing than early motherhood.

Research highlighted by NPR indicates that maternal depression peaks when a child reaches around the age of ten. For many mothers, the transition from toddlerhood to the tween years can feel like stepping into a storm. As kids begin to assert their independence, moms are faced with a slew of new worries that they never anticipated. Take the case of Lisa, a mother of a 10-year-old boy, who confesses, “At night, I feel a surge of anxiety about my child’s safety and my effectiveness as a parent. It’s as if my nervous system is always on edge.”

Having a nine-year-old myself, I completely resonate with her feelings. As our kids transition from infants to tweens, the nature of our concerns shifts dramatically. Back then, it was all about feeding and sleeping schedules—manageable challenges. Now, I find myself grappling with questions about social media, peer relationships, and everything in between. It’s a whole new level of stress.

According to the journal Developmental Psychology, mothers of tweens often report feeling more isolated and dissatisfied compared to those with younger or older kids. This can be hard to believe until you experience it firsthand. Lisa sums it up well: “When my son was a baby, my worries were about his basic needs. Now, I’m constantly questioning how much freedom I should give him, especially when he’s out with friends.”

Another mother, Sarah, shares her experience, saying, “Since my daughter turned 11, I’ve been struggling with feelings of sadness and frustration. I want to help her navigate friendships, but it feels like I’m losing my ability to guide her. I put my career on pause to focus on being a mom, and now it feels less fulfilling.” The combination of shifting hormones and the realization that our tweens may not view us as the ultimate authority can create an emotional whirlwind.

Adding to the challenge is the decline in available support networks. Many moms find that playgroups and parenting circles dissolve as children grow older, leaving them feeling isolated. Without a community to share their worries with, it’s easy to feel like you’re going through this alone.

This is why Lisa’s advice rings true: “When I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself to reach out for support. I encourage my son to express his feelings, and I need to do the same.” If you want to explore more about navigating these tricky years, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination.

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In summary, the tween years can be an unexpectedly stressful time for mothers as they navigate new challenges, feelings of isolation, and the complexities of their growing children’s independence. It’s essential to seek support and remain connected during this tumultuous phase.

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