Every morning and after each nap, I enter my daughter’s room with a mix of hope and dread—hoping that today might be different. My eyes scan the room and, unfortunately, I find it again: her diaper, discarded carelessly on the floor beside the crib. I look up to meet her bright blue eyes as she joyfully exclaims, “Hi! Poo buuur! Pooh pooh. No no!”—a reference to her beloved Pooh Bear.
This diaper escapade hasn’t happened just once or twice; it’s become a daily occurrence over the last couple of months. Sometimes there’s poop, sometimes pee, and occasionally, I’m treated to both. I’ve gained a wealth of experience in what doesn’t work (yes, I’m emphasizing that). So, let’s embark on this comical yet horrifying journey together—my horror, your amusement.
It All Started Subtly
My daughter began to strip off her shirt during the day, or at least pull it down to expose one arm. Gradually, this behavior escalated. I’d discover her shirt discarded in various locations, and she would creatively contort her footed pajamas. Then came that fateful morning when I walked into her room to find her completely undressed. Actually, that’s not entirely true—she was festooned in poop, the unfortunate result of dehydration, which turned her bowel movements into tiny pellets launched in a 6-foot radius from her crib. To make matters worse, she had smeared some on herself and even tasted it. Thankfully, my husband had already left for work, so I whisked her away for a bath while my sister-in-law, who was visiting, kindly cleaned the room.
Thinking this was a one-time episode, we foolishly carried on with our lives. But the diaper on the floor became a frequent sight. I’ve honed my skills at changing crib sheets, sanitizing the crib, and cleaning the carpet and walls. Every morning, while I nurse in bed, my husband goes into our daughter’s room. I can tell what’s happened by the sounds I hear: bath water running means poop; a low voice means pee. One late-night attempt to comfort her ended with him feeling bare shoulders and realizing the diaper was gone.
Creative Solutions
Duct tape quickly became a staple in our parenting toolkit, but she learned to peel it off. We tried longer strips, and she managed to remove those too. We resorted to cold baths every time she played with her poop, and discipline became an awkward necessity—who wants to scold a toddler covered in mess? I’d point at the discarded diaper and sternly say, “No, no!” only for her to cheerfully mimic the phrase before I had a chance to.
During a recent trip to Texas to visit family, we put her in a kids’ tent for sleeping, thinking it would thwart her attempts to undress. Wrong. I was chatting with relatives when my husband entered the room, holding our naked child at arm’s length. The bath water soon followed. More than once, as we unzipped her tent, she would hand us her diaper, declaring “poopoo,” regardless of its state.
The only effective solution I’ve found so far is a onesie that snaps between the legs—thank goodness for small victories! Unfortunately, I only have a few of these, and I can’t layer them under her fleece pajamas at night, or she’ll get too hot.
Finding Humor in the Chaos
If you’re facing this challenge, rest assured—you’re not alone. I’ve learned to find humor in this situation (just not in front of her!) and I know this will make for a hilarious story at her wedding rehearsal dinner someday. While dealing with these “crappy” moments (pun intended), I’m grateful for her naps, her little hands that can manage to remove her diaper, and the convenience of having a washing machine. Embracing gratitude for these seemingly small things has helped me gain perspective on this tiny trial that life has thrown my way.
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Conclusion
In summary, while dealing with a diaper-evading toddler can feel overwhelming, it’s a common struggle among parents. Finding humor and gratitude in these moments makes the journey a little easier. After all, one day this will be just another funny story to share.