As I watch the television, a familiar voice fills the room. It’s Ella James, passionately singing, “You’re BEAUTIFUL…in every single way…” Her voice resonates, powerful and genuine, as if she’s addressing me directly. “No matter what they sayyy…” she continues. But am I truly beautiful, Ella? When you refer to “they,” I can’t help but think of the mirrors that line my walls and the critical voices echoing in my mind.
A few years back, I felt as though the vibrant glow of my youth had quietly slipped away, leaving behind a landscape of sagging skin and tired eyes. The elasticity of my skin, particularly around my eyes, seemed to fade into a distant memory, leading to a full-scale rebellion against my attempts to “smooth” things over. Since turning 45, I’ve noticed new wrinkles appearing nightly, despite my diligent efforts with various creams. Each morning, I find myself counting and naming these new arrivals, like rays of sunshine shining out from the corners of my eyes. But let’s face it, Ella, they aren’t exactly beautiful, as they are just wrinkles, and I’ve been conditioned to believe that wrinkles are unacceptable.
My body, too, has undergone its own transformation. No matter how much effort I put into “firming and sculpting,” I can’t help but conjure up culinary metaphors to describe my figure. Muffin tops, sweet rolls, and other baked goods come to mind, all perfectly descriptive of my various curves. I might even joke that my shapewear deserves an award for its unwavering efforts to contain the ever-expanding “bake shop” that is my belly. Although the fabric holds strong, there’s always a hint of anxiety about its ability to withstand the test of time.
If I were to judge myself solely based on my appearance, the answer to the question posed to Ella would likely be “No, not really.” However, as I grow older, I realize that my worth extends far beyond skin-deep. Beneath the surface, my mind and soul harbor unique beauty waiting for their moment to shine.
My mind is a beautiful tapestry, a chaotic blend of ideas, love, adventure, and possibilities — think of a vibrant Jackson Pollock painting. It’s infused with energy, curiosity, and kindness. At the same time, it has simplified over the years, shedding unnecessary complexities. It now resembles a straightforward children’s book rather than an epic novel, and I’ve learned to focus on what truly inspires me. This clarity makes my mind more beautiful than ever.
As for my soul, it has moved beyond the turmoil that once plagued it. After enduring its share of hardships, it has found a sense of calm amidst life’s unpredictability. I picture my soul as being portrayed by a seasoned actress like Julia Roberts in a heartwarming film, embodying the serenity and wisdom that comes with age. My soul has blossomed into a more beautiful version of itself.
While the mirrors and my inner critic will continue to scrutinize my physical appearance, I strive to maintain perspective. My face may cling to moisture, and my body may resemble a bakery of delightful treats, but that’s not all I am. I am healthy, happy, and alive (cue the music!). No matter how I navigate the ups and downs of aging, I will remain beautiful in both mind and soul, irrespective of what others may say.
So, let’s not allow negativity to bring us down!
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In summary, beauty is more than skin deep. It encompasses our minds, our souls, and our experiences. Embrace your journey and recognize the multifaceted nature of your beauty!