As a mother of three—ages 14, 11, and 5—I’ve accumulated 30 years of parenting experience. You might think that qualifies me as an expert, but the truth is, parenting is a dynamic journey that demands constant adjustment, resilience, and a good measure of self-compassion. Both we and our children are always growing and changing. What worked with one child—like strict nap times—can be entirely disregarded with another. I may not be a more skilled parent with my youngest than I was with my first, but I’ve learned to identify what truly matters for each child and for myself. Here are seven valuable lessons I’ve gained along the way:
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Perfection is a Myth.
Nobody is perfect—not you, not your child. The sooner you dismiss that idealized Pinterest vision of parenting, the happier you’ll be. Before my eldest was born, I devoured parenting books, peppered my pediatrician with questions, and enrolled in newborn care classes, all in hopes of “getting it right.” Spoiler alert: you’ll make choices you might regret. That’s perfectly fine. There’s no universal approach to parenting; it’s about finding what imperfectly works for you and your family. -
They Need Less Than You Think.
My youngest is currently occupying herself with an oversized cardboard box, coloring it with markers. I formerly felt guilty for not engaging in every activity or taking her out for structured outings. Now, I realize that giving her space to explore her boredom is a valuable skill. Sometimes, less truly is more. -
Listen More, Talk Less.
Children crave to be heard, and this can be a challenge for me since I tend to dominate conversations. Depending on the child and their age, bombarding them with questions can backfire. Nowadays, I focus on smiling and listening when they share stories about their day, their friends, or their lunch preferences. Feeling acknowledged is incredibly important at any age. -
Kids Can Be Difficult.
Let’s face it: kids can be a handful. They often act out for various reasons: sometimes they simply don’t know better, other times they’re testing boundaries, or they might just be trying to push my buttons. I’ve learned not to take their behavior too personally. I call them out on their actions, encourage them to improve, and strive to maintain my composure. -
Missing Events Isn’t Catastrophic.
It’s impossible for me to attend every sports game, science night, recital, and bake sale. And honestly, I don’t want to be at everything. I used to feel guilty for missing out, and occasionally my kids did too. But they learn to thrive without my presence, and I get a much-needed breather. -
You’re the Authority.
No matter how chaotic things get—whether it’s a toddler’s tantrum in the grocery store or a teenager’s eye rolls—you are still in charge. I’ve noticed that when I establish clear boundaries, my kids tend to settle down more quickly. -
They Will Surprise You.
Just when I think my childfree friends have it all figured out, my kids blow me away with their insights, creativity, and boundless love. Just the other night, when I asked my youngest if she needed to use the bathroom before bed, she replied, “I don’t need to pee, Mama. I just need to hug and kiss and love you!” For a brief moment, I felt like, “Yes! Parenting is amazing!” But then she accidentally left the hamster cage open, and it was back to the usual chaos.
While I don’t have all the answers to the many challenges of parenting, I feel increasingly confident in making the right decisions when it counts. And when I falter? I remind my kids of my love, give myself some grace, and prepare to tackle another day in this wild adventure. If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this engaging article that dives into various parenting topics. And for those considering home insemination, Cryobaby offers reliable at-home insemination kits, making the process more accessible. Additionally, for a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination, Progyny is an excellent resource.
Summary:
Parenting is a complex journey filled with ups and downs. Through my experience, I have learned that perfection is unattainable, children need less than we think, and listening is more impactful than talking. It’s essential to set boundaries, recognize that missing events isn’t the end of the world, and embrace the surprises that come with raising children. Confidence in our parenting abilities grows over time, and when we stumble, it’s crucial to practice self-love and forgiveness.