As I sit down to share my thoughts, I find myself torn between wanting to recount heartwarming anecdotes about my little one and the love I share with my partner. I wish to whisk you away from your daily grind, offering you the uplifting moments you might be craving. However, before I dive into those joys, I must address a truth that I cannot overlook: I cannot grant you absolution this year.
My journey has been shaped by struggle and determination. I was raised in a low-income family in the shadow of the Catskill Mountains. At 17, while a freshman at a private Catholic university, I embraced my identity as a gay man. After experiencing a hate crime, I chose to speak out rather than remain a silent victim. I took a stand against the injustices around me, fighting for my right to form a gay-straight alliance at my university. Through this, I discovered the importance of community and the power of collective activism. I dedicated myself to living a life grounded in gratitude, respect, and relentless effort.
It was during this fight that I met Alex, the man who would eventually become my husband. Our shared values fueled our commitment to each other and our desire to create a life that showcased our love while also embracing the broader human experience. We poured our hearts into coming out to family and friends, a challenge that proved exhausting and ongoing.
For a year after our marriage in New York, our union went unrecognized in our home state of New Jersey. Yet, in a world where marriage equality is now recognized nationwide, we still find ourselves hesitating to express our affection in public, aware that not everyone shares our progress.
Our journey to parenthood was equally challenging, but we faced each hurdle with grace and determination. When our son, Noah, entered the world, I felt an overwhelming sense of purpose. I knew that this little boy would have two dads who would fight for him with unwavering strength.
The Obama presidency brought significant changes to our lives, providing protections for our family. The acknowledgment of our marriage, alongside access to healthcare and legal rights, offered us a sense of security that we had long fought for. President Obama’s commitment to equality resonated with us deeply, as he understood the sting of discrimination firsthand.
However, the stakes dramatically shifted with the 2016 election. The Republican platform threatened to dismantle the progress we had made, targeting our rights as a same-sex couple and promoting “traditional marriage.” The implications were clear: a vote for this party was a vote against families like mine.
This shift compelled us to reach out to those we considered allies, only to be met with disheartening news. Many individuals who claimed to support us were preparing to cast their votes for a party that openly opposed our rights. Despite our efforts to educate and discuss, they remained steadfast in their support for a candidate whose history reflected racism, sexism, and homophobia.
As we navigate this new landscape, the urgency to protect families like ours becomes paramount. Elections serve as a vital opportunity to affirm the existence and rights of LGBTQ+ individuals, allowing us to tell young people that they deserve to be accepted as they are.
The choice was made, and it was a confounding one. By voting for a party that seeks to undermine our marriage and our family, many turned their backs on us. This election was not “just another election.” It was a clear threat to our right to exist. The appointments made by the Trump administration have left us feeling vulnerable, as many individuals selected have histories of supporting anti-LGBT legislation.
So let me be clear: it is not my duty to ease your discomfort over the choices you made. I am a parent who rises early to care for my son, juggling the demands of work and family. I simply do not have the bandwidth to soothe your guilt.
Everything is not okay. Throughout my life, I have drawn inspiration from powerful voices, especially women who have fought against adversity. They remind me to strive for excellence and to be a person my family can take pride in. In this moment, I find solace in the words of the Dixie Chicks, who echo my sentiments loud and clear: I’m not ready to make nice.
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Summary
Jamie Rivers reflects on the struggles faced by LGBTQ+ families in the wake of political changes. The article details personal experiences of love, marriage, and parenthood, emphasizing the importance of community support and the fight for equality. With a call to action for those who claim to support LGBTQ+ rights, Jamie firmly states that he will not offer absolution for choices that threaten his family’s existence.