As a mother of three, I’ve always made it a point to cherish each phase of my children’s lives. The reality of parenting is that they grow up in the blink of an eye, and every stage is fleeting. It’s essential to focus on the positives of each season we find ourselves in.
While I’ve enjoyed various stages—infancy, the toddler tantrums, and the delightful preschool years—I have to confess that I’ve had my preferences. The baby phase was precious, though I could have done without the constant sleep deprivation. The toddler years brought their own charm, despite the chaos. However, I found the elementary and preteen years to be a little lackluster. They certainly had their highlights, but the challenges felt heavier during those middle years.
Contrary to what many parents might feel about the preteen years being the best, my experience with my oldest child stepping into her teen years has been surprisingly enjoyable. Yes, you read that right.
Teens often get a bad rap—they’re seen as moody or rebellious. However, I haven’t experienced that with my own children. Instead, this phase has been a breath of fresh air after navigating the often turbulent tween years. I cherish having real conversations with my 16-year-old, where I no longer need to filter my words to keep things age-appropriate. Her sense of humor has matured, moving beyond the stage of nonsensical jokes. I look forward to our coffee dates and witnessing her take charge of her life and aspirations.
Of course, it’s not all smooth sailing. The challenges are more profound than they were in her younger years, and as parents, we need to guide her through more complex situations. But the open dialogue we’ve established makes these conversations less intimidating for both of us. From early on, we prioritized fostering two-way communication, and I truly feel the benefits as our children grow older. Our girls approach us with questions, share their concerns, and even challenge us when necessary. We certainly haven’t nailed every aspect of parenting, but this is one area where I feel we’ve succeeded, and it’s made a world of difference.
It’s also refreshing to see the “finish line” on the horizon. While parenting is a lifelong commitment, the most demanding years occur within the first 15 to 18 years. I love being a mom, but I also look forward to the freedom that comes with watching my kids become independent. While it’s bittersweet and I sometimes wish I could freeze time, the prospect of freedom is enticing. By the time my youngest reaches the age my eldest is now, I will have spent 24 years in the thick of parenting—a significant journey, and I’m excited to see what lies ahead for both them and myself.
Many dread the teen years, but I assure you, it’s not always the nightmare it’s made out to be. Every family is unique, and while some teens may present challenges, there are also plenty of remarkable ones. It’s a misconception that teenagers inherently cause their parents grief. Sure, there are worries, but not all teens are a source of stress.
So far, I have to say, the teen years are shaping up to be my favorite. Here’s hoping the same holds true for my other two children as they step into this phase. Fingers crossed!
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In summary, while the teen years are often met with trepidation, my experience has been overwhelmingly positive. Open communication, a sense of humor, and recognizing the joys of this phase have transformed my perspective.