Let’s be real: the end-of-party goody bags are a parenting dilemma that many of us face. I’ve got to admit, my feelings toward them are complicated, to say the least. I really don’t want my kids leaving a friend’s birthday bash with expectations of receiving a treat. The focus should be on celebrating their friend, not on receiving a reward.
As a mom who isn’t particularly crafty or Pinterest-savvy, goody bags have been a source of stress for me. I know that plenty of moms thrive on creativity, and that’s fantastic. But for those of us who dread the thought of decorating themed items for our children’s parties, the pressure of creating the perfect goody bag can be overwhelming.
And let’s talk about what typically fills those bags—usually a mix of trinkets that are more trash than treasure. Too often, they contain items that could pose a choking hazard or just junk that kids will forget about the moment they leave the party. More often than not, the contents end up scattered across my car, my kitchen counter, or tossed aside altogether.
It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of goody bags. However, I do love making my kids happy and planning memorable parties for them and their friends. If that means including a treat bag (which seems like a given these days), I’m willing to go along with it.
What I truly appreciate is when someone else takes care of the details for me, as was the case this past weekend for my daughter’s sixth birthday celebration. The venue we chose handled everything, including the goody bags. I just provided the theme and the number of children, and they did the rest.
The party was all-girls, except for my 10-year-old son and a couple of his friends who were invited because their sisters were attending. When I informed the venue about the headcount, they assured me they would prepare separate bags for the boys. On the morning of the party, one of the attending parents asked if her 10-year-old daughter could join since she couldn’t find a babysitter. I happily agreed but warned her that I couldn’t guarantee a goody bag for her daughter since I had submitted the headcount a week prior. She assured me that her daughter would be fine without one.
Fast forward to the day of the party: a few kids fell ill and couldn’t make it. As a result, we ended up with an extra goody bag. I thought the girl would be thrilled to receive it, but instead, she burst into tears, insisting she wanted what was in the boys’ bags. I found the whole thing rather absurd, given that it was her younger sister who was actually invited. I tried to explain that the bags had been prepared days in advance, and if I had known she was coming, I would have ensured she got one too. Her tears escalated into a full-blown tantrum, only calming down when her sister chimed in that she didn’t even want her goody bag because she didn’t like the contents.
At that moment, I thought to myself, “Enough is enough with these goody bags.” Seriously, why do we create these tiny tantrum-inducing bundles of disappointment? The real issue isn’t who prepares the bags; it’s the expectation and lack of gratitude that comes with them. I’m done with the cheap toys, themed pencils, and stickers that will inevitably vanish before the kids even make it home. I’m done with the meltdowns and the entitlement surrounding them.
So, I’ve decided: no more goody bags. I’m sure some kids might be disappointed at my children’s upcoming birthday parties, but honestly, that gives them something new to grumble about. And frankly, I’m over their critical feedback.
Oh, and to the girl who had a meltdown over the goody bag, the appropriate response when receiving a gift is simply, “Thank you!” There’s really nothing more to say when you receive something just for showing up.
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In summary, the idea of goody bags has become increasingly burdensome and unnecessary. It’s time to shift our focus from material rewards to the true spirit of celebration.