Let’s be honest: kids can be downright gross. Scratch that. They are walking petri dishes of germs, effortlessly spreading their infected secretions throughout the house. From digging in their noses to neglecting post-bathroom hygiene, kids have a special talent for grossness. They wipe snot on their sleeves, pick at scabs, and chew their nails until there’s barely anything left. Add to that the nightly battle over bath time and their questionable attitudes towards brushing teeth, and it’s clear: kids can be revolting.
But when illness strikes, their germ-spreading capabilities reach new heights. Think midnight vomit sessions, phlegm-filled coughs landing on our shirts, and explosive diarrhea that makes us wonder what we were thinking when we decided to have children in the first place. When my kids are sick, I’m often tempted to cover myself in hand sanitizer and disinfect the entire house with industrial-strength cleaners. And let’s not even talk about the emotional rollercoaster of keeping them home from school until they’ve been fever-free for a full 24 hours.
While the usual vomiting and coughs are tough to handle, some childhood illnesses really make parents stop and think. Just say the word “lice” and you’ll see parents sprinting for the hills, frantically scratching their heads. But lice isn’t the only nasty issue kids can bring home. Before you dive into this list of gross AF childhood illnesses, maybe grab some hand sanitizer:
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Molluscum Contagiosum
The term “contagious” in this common childhood virus sends parents into a tizzy. However, molluscum is more of a nuisance than a threat. It presents as pink or flesh-colored bumps on the skin and, while it is contagious, it’s usually not a cause for concern. It might just be the reason for a trip to the dermatologist, though. -
Roseola
Most kids will encounter roseola before starting kindergarten. The symptoms include a lasting fever followed by a spotty rash. Although it’s harmless, parents tend to panic upon hearing it’s linked to the herpes virus. Relax! Your little one might be irritable during the fever, but a hefty glass of wine will help you cope—just not for the kid. -
Fifth Disease
This one always creeps me out, even though it’s benign. Fifth disease can lead to the infamous “slapped cheek” rash, along with an itchy rash on the body. While your child will be fine, the sight of them can be a little unsettling. It spreads before the rash appears, which makes it even more frustrating for parents trying to avoid it. -
Ringworm
Just hearing “ringworm” makes me want to toss my entire wardrobe. Thankfully, this isn’t from an actual worm. It’s a fungal infection that can be easily treated with antifungals from a doctor. If you have a child involved in sports or gymnastics, you may have already seen those alarming red, scaly patches. But don’t worry—this too shall pass without the need to burn your belongings. -
Conjunctivitis (Pink Eye)
Pink eye is an unpleasant infection that can wreak havoc on the eyes, often caused by bacteria, viruses, or allergens. While it’s generally harmless (neonatal cases should be checked by a doctor), I’d rather not experience that gunk coming from my eyes. As soon as I hear pink eye is going around school, I make sure my kids are washing their hands constantly—maybe around 876 times a day? Consult a doctor if your child shows symptoms, as treatment varies based on the type. -
Impetigo
On the grossness scale, impetigo ranks high due to its unsightly sores. Typically caused by strep or staph bacteria, it’s highly contagious and often seen in children aged 2 to 5 years who are in daycare or school. The sores can be weepy and need antibiotics to clear up.
Before becoming a parent, I rarely got sick. I could count the times I visited a doctor on one hand. But since my kids came along, I’ve become very familiar with our family’s healthcare provider, and I’m pretty sure my hand sanitizer purchases are keeping the companies in business. Despite all the chaos of cleaning up after sick kids, it’s all worth it. At least I have a valid excuse to pour myself a generous glass of wine—after all, alcohol kills germs, right?
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Summary:
Kids can be incredibly gross, especially when they get sick. From common illnesses like molluscum contagiosum to more distressing conditions like impetigo, these childhood ailments can send parents into a state of panic. Knowing how to handle these situations and where to find reliable information can make all the difference.