Menu: Parenting
By: Alex Rivera
Updated: Jan. 29, 2021
Originally Published: Dec. 12, 2016
The sheer excitement that filled the air during Christmas in 1988 at my home was unforgettable. My younger siblings, excitedly unwrapping a large box they had been eyeing for weeks, made such a ruckus that it felt like the ornaments on the tree might shake loose. Santa had come through with a Nintendo gaming system, a major upgrade from the old Atari. As they jumped around the living room, I, at 13, couldn’t help but wonder, “What’s the appeal of video games?”
Though I eventually joined in on the fun with marathon sessions of Super Mario Bros., I never fully grasped why they captivated so many. I preferred spending time at the mall and never really got on board with video gaming.
Fast forward a few years, and I found myself with a son who is completely consumed by video games, just like my brothers were at his age. Our first foray into the gaming world happened just before the Wii was launched. My mother-in-law gifted our then 3-year-old son a toddler-friendly gaming system, complete with oversized controllers and educational games focused on letters and numbers. The moment he unwrapped that gift, his eyes sparkled, and he was instantly hooked on the bright graphics.
At first, it was charming to see him immersed in learning through play. But soon after, the tantrums began. Crabbiness set in, and he became fixated on when he could play next. His chatter revolved around video games, and he’d stay up late, eagerly anticipating his next session. We noticed he was waking up earlier and earlier, desperate to plant himself in front of the screen. When I would announce it was time to turn off the system, he’d launch into epic meltdowns, crying and kicking, with emotions that took hours to calm.
Video games quickly turned into a source of stress in our home, leaving my husband and me bewildered. I didn’t recall my brothers ever throwing such fits over gaming, and I felt unprepared to impose limits on what seemed like a harmless educational tool. But as his emotional outbursts escalated, we knew we had to step back from video games until he was a bit older.
For several years, we enforced a strict no-video-game policy, which worked for a time. However, we began to realize that many boys bond over gaming; it’s a social language in their world. When our son visited friends and returned excited about the games he had played, we relented and allowed him a Wii when he turned 8.
Unfortunately, his old habits returned. Emotional outbursts when his time was up, trouble focusing on schoolwork, and sleepless nights became the norm again. We set limits—one hour on weekends and no gaming during the week—but that only exacerbated the obsession. The more we restricted him, the more he fixated on when he could play next.
It was heartbreaking to witness. I hated being the bad guy, taking away something that brought him joy, but the impact on his mental health was undeniable. At just 8 years old, he was grappling with obsessive behaviors and emotional highs and lows that seemed manageable only when gaming was off the table. Once we eliminated video games, he visibly relaxed. A few weeks later, he confessed that his mind felt “scrambled” while gaming and expressed relief over the break. At that moment, I knew we had made the right decision. For nearly five years, our home thrived without video games.
Now that my son is 13, we’ve worked together to establish a healthier balance. My husband and I understand that gaming is part of growing up, and through open discussions, he can now recognize when he’s had enough. We’ve guided him toward self-control, allowing for occasional gaming while ensuring he understands his life shouldn’t revolve around screens. If only I could get him as enthusiastic about cleaning his room as he is about video games!
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In summary, navigating a child’s obsession with video games can be challenging. Establishing clear limits, maintaining open communication, and focusing on balance can help ensure a healthier relationship with gaming.