Surprise! I’m judging you. Yes, me—the one who seems so approachable and chatty at social gatherings, always known for making self-deprecating jokes to put others at ease. But here’s the truth: I’m judging you.
From your parenting choices to what you feed your kids, even your views on vaccinations, I’m taking mental notes. Back in elementary school, my judgments revolved around whether you preferred the monkey bars or the swings. By middle school, I’d scrutinize your hairstyle and outfit choices, and as I transitioned to a judgmental teenager, your taste in music became part of my assessment too.
Judgment is a natural part of human behavior, and I’d argue that we all engage in it daily—not necessarily in a negative way. If you mention your love for travel, I’ll see you as a valuable resource for my next getaway. We make these little decisions regularly, determining who might be a good friend or a trustworthy caregiver for our children.
Let’s be honest: if you notice a stunning sweater on someone, you’re likely to notice the one that screams “tacky” too. Positive or negative, if we cross paths, you can bet I’ll be making judgments about you.
But here’s the kicker—you’ll never know what I think. While I might be judgmental, I’m not going to be rude about it. My judgments don’t define you as a person. I see beyond your parenting choices or your belief that chain restaurants are the pinnacle of cuisine. Sure, your opinion on spanking may influence my decision about leaving my kids with you, but it won’t determine our entire relationship.
When I judge negatively, I’m acknowledging that my opinion may differ from yours, but that doesn’t make me inherently better. In fact, I genuinely appreciate the unique qualities that make you who you are, which is why I choose to keep my thoughts to myself.
If I were to tell you that chain restaurants are for kids, would that stop you from enjoying your favorite dish on a date night? Of course not! So, what’s the point in expressing judgment? It crosses a line into shaming territory.
If I have genuine concerns for you as a friend, I might gently suggest alternatives to feeding your child Skittles for dinner. But if I don’t know you well, I’ll keep quiet while your little one enjoys their sugary treat. After all, your choices are your business, not mine.
Judging you online makes you one of those annoying trolls. And it seems mothers have become experts in this realm. It’s impossible to scroll through a comment section without finding someone shaming another for their parenting decisions. Whether it’s breastfeeding versus formula or babywearing versus strollers, there’s always someone ready to criticize.
Has anyone ever changed their behavior because a stranger on the internet called them a terrible parent for having a cup of coffee during pregnancy? I’m sure many of you are judging me right now, and that’s okay. But if you think your comments will change my mind, you’re mistaken. You’re merely revealing that you judge a person based on a fleeting moment and have enough free time to comment on the lives of strangers.
The internet can be a wonderful tool, connecting us with the world and providing a wealth of information. Yet, it often serves as a platform for discontented individuals to assert their superiority by belittling others. If I took online comments to heart, I might consider taking my kids to Child Protective Services myself. Surely, they’d be better off than with a mom who only breastfed for two months and chose to vaccinate.
By the way, you should be judging me too! I let my kids pick their own outfits, my 6-year-old only listens to a fraction of my instructions, and some might say I enjoy a bit too much wine (I might judge those people as boring). If you didn’t judge me, I’d be worried. You may leave my house thinking I need a cleaning service, but hopefully, you’ll also see that my husband and I are raising two incredibly happy and funny daughters. Maybe one of us even made you laugh a little.
I firmly believe that the universe reflects back what we put into it (judge me all you want on that one). So I urge you, even when your judgments lean negative, do the world and yourself a favor—keep them to yourself.
For more insights on parenting and personal experiences, check out this insightful post on intra-cervical insemination. And if you’re exploring options for home insemination, consider visiting Cryobaby for at-home insemination kits, or check out Resolve for an excellent resource on pregnancy.
In summary, we all make judgments, but it’s crucial to recognize that they don’t define us or others. Let’s cultivate kindness and understanding in our interactions, both online and offline.