I often joke that I have an insatiable thirst for affirmation. There’s something comforting about hearing others acknowledge our efforts, whether it’s a grand proclamation like “You’re going to change the world!” or a simple, everyday comment such as “Your house looks great!” I gather these compliments like they’re precious tokens, especially when it comes to my role as a parent. Who wouldn’t relish the validation of raising well-behaved kids? When someone takes a moment to say, “You’re doing an amazing job,” it feels like floating on air.
Considering the immense responsibility of parenthood, it’s only natural to crave recognition for our hard work, particularly on challenging days. However, the issue arises when our self-worth becomes tied to others’ opinions. I often find myself waiting for external validation instead of taking a moment to appreciate my own accomplishments. This cycle of seeking approval can be exhausting.
Imagine a day spent with my kids and a close friend. They’re on their best behavior—polite, patient, and practically angelic. Yet, I’m anxiously waiting for my friend to acknowledge their good behavior as a reflection of my parenting. Instead of celebrating my children’s conduct and my own efforts, I’m stuck in a loop of expectation. Why am I not telling myself, “Wow, you’re doing a fantastic job!”?
It’s crucial to recognize that while we sometimes need reassurance from others, we also have to be our own biggest cheerleaders. Take a step back and evaluate your achievements. Parenthood is tough, and it’s all too easy to fixate on our mistakes. When was the last time you praised yourself for diffusing a tantrum or staying calm during a teenager’s mood swing? When did you last look in the mirror and say, “I am an extraordinary parent, and my kids are fortunate to have me”?
As parents, we want to nurture self-assured, kind, and intelligent children. We spend ample time encouraging them with affirmations like “You can do this!” because we won’t always be there to support them. This is why it’s imperative for us to also believe in ourselves and model that confidence.
So, stop holding out for those grand compliments from friends, family, or partners. Instead, give yourself the recognition you deserve. Repeat after me: “I am a fantastic parent, and I’m doing a great job raising my kids.” This mindset shift can be empowering and help cultivate a more positive atmosphere for both you and your children.
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In summary, it’s time to stop waiting for external validation. Embrace your achievements and recognize your worth as a parent. You’re doing better than you think!