It’s funny how the holidays roll around at the same time each year, yet they always seem to catch me off guard. Suddenly, the airwaves are flooded with countless renditions of holiday classics, and it feels like my neighbor has transformed into a real-life Clark Griswold, lighting up the entire block. Who’s covering his electricity bill, anyway?
While everyone else is swept up in the frenzy of holiday cooking and elaborate meals, I find myself less than enthusiastic. To be honest, I’m not a fan of green beans or fried onions—especially when they mingle on my plate. Setting a table? Not my idea of fun. And I certainly don’t see the sense in brewing coffee hours before bed just to counteract the mountain of desserts. It all feels overwhelming and excessive.
But before you jump to conclusions and accuse me of being a Scrooge, let me ask: Is it truly possible to celebrate the holidays in the traditional Hallmark Channel style without a strong community around you?
There are many who find themselves separated from their families, whether due to deployment or work abroad, and it’s undeniably tough. But I’m also thinking of neighbors who are housebound, like the woman across the street who relies on caregivers. Or those who have lost their families or have been forgotten. Or even individuals battling anxiety and depression, who simply can’t engage. I’m one of those people dealing with family divides and emotional distance, facing yet another holiday season that feels far from festive.
For me, Thanksgiving resembles any other Thursday night rather than the grand event that others eagerly anticipate. The holidays have been a challenge for many years. My parents split when I was 16, and our family unit was already small. Ten years ago, my father passed away just before Christmas, casting a long shadow over the holiday spirit. Recently, my husband and I have encountered our own struggles, and the chaos seems to peak every November.
This year was no different. When my mother expressed her despair, saying, “Why even bother? What do we have to be thankful for?” it struck a chord. Instead of counting my blessings, I found myself mourning the dreams I once had: a large, loving family gathered around a table filled with laughter and stories. That vision, filled with warmth and togetherness, doesn’t match my current reality.
But rather than dwell on what’s missing, I’ve decided to rethink my approach. My tribe might be small and somewhat fragmented, but that doesn’t diminish my gratitude. For starters, I have a joyful, healthy little toddler who deserves to experience the beauty of connection and love, even if it’s in quieter, simpler ways. I want him to understand that “special” moments don’t always require grand celebrations; they can be found in shared smiles, hand-holding, and peaceful times together.
As we navigate a world that often challenges our sense of purpose, we will remind each other that while numbers are nice, they aren’t necessary for meaningful connections. Our focus will shift back to the essence of the holidays—being thankful for one another and appreciating what we have, including our unique experiences.
In the end, perhaps we should be grateful for the absence of that one uncle who sparks heated debates, the dry turkey, and the hectic journeys through traffic just to reach a relative’s house with the dreaded green bean casserole.
If you find yourself navigating similar feelings during the holidays, know that you’re not alone. For more insights on family and creating connections, check out our blog here. And if you’re considering starting your own family journey, Make a Mom offers excellent at-home insemination kits. Additionally, Women’s Health provides valuable information on infertility and pregnancy resources.
In summary, embracing the holiday spirit can be a personal journey, shaped by our unique circumstances. It’s about finding joy in small moments and recognizing that gratitude doesn’t always come from abundance.