When my children were toddlers, our little group consisted of six to eight moms. We gathered every Monday morning at Sarah’s house, kids in tow—some in strollers, others just starting to walk, while the older ones dashed around, showing the younger ones how to climb stair gates. Each week, we brought food to share; the mom known for her famous nugget tray always stole the show. We enjoyed cake, cheese, and sweet tea while engaging in conversations that ranged from parenting hacks to late-night struggles. Sarah even taught one of us how to nurse while lying down, allowing for a little extra sleep. We shared tips on babywearing and supported each other through the ups and downs of motherhood. This was a true mom tribe.
Then Sarah moved away, and everything changed.
I once felt connected to other moms in my local babywearing community, but as my kids grew, my interest waned. My five-year-old started receiving reprimands during our meetups, prompting me to retreat and eventually step back entirely. This was hard, especially since we had shared the emotional journey of one mom’s tragic loss together. Yet, as negativity crept into our interactions, I knew it was time to leave.
Now, I find myself without a mom tribe, and it’s disheartening. While I have plenty of mom friends—one who enjoys kayaking, another who shares my passion for writing, and a few who can always make me laugh—none of them truly fit the bill. I’ve tried connecting with homeschooling moms, but their schedules seem packed to the brim. I feel out of place among them, especially when some seem overly focused on their own interpretations of faith and parenting.
In the past year and a half, three of my closest mom friends have moved, leaving me with only one who can still meet me for our weekly Target trips. Those outings were more about companionship than shopping, and without my mom friends, I’ve found myself navigating the store alone with my kids. It’s a much less enjoyable experience—one filled with whining and crankiness, leading to fewer spontaneous purchases that once delighted me. I miss the camaraderie of cruising through clearance aisles, with no one caring about the treasures we might find.
The most challenging part is the lack of support for childcare. Before my friends relocated, I had a solid group of reliable babysitters. Now, I hesitate to ask homeschooling moms for favors, mindful of how disruptive it would be to their daily routine. Scheduling my own appointments has become a logistical nightmare. I must plan around my husband’s work schedule, often resulting in missed opportunities for necessary self-care. I still haven’t sorted out an appointment for a nagging eye issue, let alone made time for my gynecologist or a therapist.
What I miss the most is the wealth of parenting advice that comes from a mom tribe. A good group is invaluable for gauging what’s “normal” when it comes to child development. Is it typical for a six-year-old to throw tantrums? When should I consider transitioning my three-year-old from diapers? I crave the reassurance that my kids are progressing well and the occasional uplifting compliment we all need as parents.
While I’ve found some solace online, connecting with a fiercely supportive group of moms, it pales in comparison to in-person relationships. We cheer each other on from behind screens, but there are no spontaneous playdates or nights out. It’s a bittersweet reality—blessed with connection yet cursed by distance.
Creating a mom tribe isn’t something you can force; it happens organically or not at all. For now, I’m committed to being friendly, steering clear of drama, and hoping that a new group will form around me like a storm gaining strength in warm waters. Whether your parenting style is co-sleeping, homeschooling, or a mix of everything, the only prerequisite is a willingness to hang out at Target!
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In summary, while I have mom friends, what I truly yearn for is a community—a mom tribe that offers support, advice, and a sense of belonging.
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