In a year as tumultuous as 2016, it’s challenging to find a silver lining. However, one positive outcome has been the spotlight on the pressing issues plaguing our society. Like that unique light an aesthetician employs to reveal blemishes during a facial, we can no longer ignore the glaring issues of sexism and misogyny that are deeply rooted in our culture. With high-profile cases, such as Brock Turner receiving minimal consequences for his crimes, and our political leaders admitting to inappropriate behavior, it’s impossible to overlook the troubling realities we face.
As discussions about these issues have unfolded, I’ve heard the outcry for our daughters and witnessed the anguish of mothers. Fathers of daughters express their disbelief, but amidst this, I find myself pondering what this means for my husband and me as parents of sons.
As a woman, I recognize the pervasive nature of sexism in our lives. I’ve experienced workplace harassment and unwanted attention countless times. While I haven’t personally faced sexual assault, far too many women I know have. Yet, as a mother to boys, I refuse to view their gender as inherently problematic, nor can I overlook the impact of sexism on them. They may not be victims of misogyny, but we would be naive to think that societal stereotypes don’t affect them as well. Simply put, we must acknowledge that sexism harms everyone, and all of us have a part to play in dismantling this pervasive narrative.
In a compelling piece for the Los Angeles Times, journalist Mark Thompson emphasized the importance of fathers of sons in addressing these issues. He wrote, “It’s my duty as a father of sons to help tackle these challenges.” He highlighted that while fathers of daughters may feel a personal stake in combating misogyny, it’s the fathers of sons who can truly foster change. Thompson encourages dads to engage their children in conversations about civil rights and to educate them on the historical struggles women have faced due to male oppression.
Reading his words filled me with hope. We often express outrage about sexism, but we don’t always take the necessary steps to create change. Sure, it’s valid to be angry—believe me, I’m furious. However, outrage alone won’t bring about the transformation we desperately need. Lasting change comes from consistent, small actions.
Teaching boys how to behave is one thing; demonstrating how to be a good man is quite another. My husband doesn’t just tell our sons to respect women; he actively shows them. He praises my achievements openly, fostering an environment where respect is paramount. He understands that “no” means “no,” and he immediately stops any playful wrestling when asked. He openly expresses emotions, teaching our sons that vulnerability is strength. He reinforces the idea that it’s not enough to avoid being sexist; they must proactively challenge misogyny when they encounter it, even if it means having uncomfortable conversations with their peers.
While I’m proud of my husband’s efforts, he’s not alone in this mission. Across the country, there are countless fathers committed to raising empathetic, respectful sons. Yet, we often overlook their contributions. It’s vital to recognize the powerful influence men have on each other, especially when it comes to shaping the behavior of the next generation.
So, here’s to all the fathers out there who are dedicated to instilling values of kindness and equality in their sons. Here’s to those teaching their boys that “no” is always “no,” and that silence can mean the same. Here’s to men who don’t seek recognition for changing diapers or who wear aprons while baking, thanking their partners for their support. Here’s to those who are unafraid to shed tears, encouraging their sons to do the same. Here’s to dads who reject the notion of “man up” and embrace feminism, not merely in words but through their actions.
We see you, good and decent men. Your efforts are invaluable, and we’re counting on you to help cultivate a future filled with even more compassionate individuals. Together, we can eliminate the ugly stain of misogyny that affects us all.
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In summary, let’s celebrate the fathers who are committed to raising respectful, empathetic sons while acknowledging the significant role they play in combating sexism and fostering a more equitable society.
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