Every Expecting Mother Has the Right to Vent—So Let’s Embrace It

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Whatever happened to showing some empathy toward expectant mothers? It seems that everywhere I turn—social media, comment sections, major publications—people are telling women like me to just stop talking about the challenges of pregnancy. The excuses they come up with are both baffling and rude. Honestly, I’m fed up with being told how I should feel during this transformative time.

Let’s be real: pregnancy isn’t always a blissful journey filled with glowing moments. More often than not, it’s a ten-month marathon of discomfort and a rollercoaster of not-so-pleasant symptoms, some of which can be downright embarrassing and painful. While we moms-to-be are expected to radiate joy (after all, we’re told we’re creating miracles), sometimes I just want to indulge in a tub of ice cream and vent my frustrations—even if it leads to some serious indigestion and a wave of regret afterward.

From the outside, you might not see the discomfort or anxiety I feel about my upcoming OB appointment. You probably won’t notice the nagging worry about how much of my prenatal vitamins are actually reaching my growing baby when I often find them coming back up shortly after taking them. And let’s not even get started on the joyride between constipation and diarrhea, or the month-long yeast infection that’s become my unwelcome companion.

So when I express that I’m tired, or when I say, “The smell of chicken makes me feel nauseous,” or “I seriously miss my brie and wine,” it’s frustrating to hear comments like, “You knew what you signed up for!” or “Some women can’t conceive, so you shouldn’t complain!” or even “You should feel #Blessed!”

I like to think that in our society, which often preaches “It takes a village,” we can extend that support to pregnant women in a manner that’s both respectful and compassionate. Yes, I will vent. Yes, I may shed a tear. Yes, there will be moments when I feel overwhelmed. And during those times, I don’t need judgment or unsolicited advice on how to navigate pregnancy.

What Would Really Make a Difference?

Here are a few ideas:

1. Ask me how I’m doing. Not my partner or my kids—ask me directly.
2. Listen actively without feeling the need to give advice.
3. Treat me to some cake, steak, or pickles, depending on my cravings.
4. Share a funny story or joke (preferably after I’ve taken care of my bladder).
5. Offer to take me out for lunch or do my dishes while I take a break.
6. Check if I need anything, like more of those cravings.
7. Offer to rub my feet.
8. Engage me in discussions about things I’m excited about, like baby names.
9. Repeat the active listening part.
10. And yes, let’s not forget about those treats again!
11. Just be a kind and understanding human being.

Pregnancy—and parenting—can be extraordinarily challenging. Each mom has her unique journey, and no two experiences are the same even under similar circumstances. But we can all agree that mothers are incredibly important. So let’s allow them to express their feelings without guilt or shame.

To all the mothers and mothers-to-be out there, I see you, I feel your struggles, and I understand your need to vent. Treat yourself to whatever you’re craving and take a moment to relax—you’ve earned it. And for those quick to silence complaints, let’s just say I hope you encounter a few uncomfortable moments of your own.

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Summary:

Expecting mothers have every right to express their frustrations and discomfort during pregnancy without facing judgment. It’s essential for friends and family to offer support, listen actively, and show compassion rather than dismissing their experiences. Pregnancy can be challenging, and it’s important to create an environment where mothers feel validated in their feelings.