Dear girls,
I know visiting the cemetery on Tuesday wasn’t exactly your idea of a fun outing. You were hungry (my bad for not stopping at Tim Horton’s beforehand) and bummed about missing school. I could sense your frustration with the long wait, too.
I realize this wasn’t how you envisioned spending your morning, and I truly appreciate you coming along. I understand that the significance of voting may not resonate with you yet. To be honest, there are times I struggle to grasp it fully myself. I know it’s a privilege not shared by everyone around the globe, and while I try to stay mindful of that, I occasionally forget just how fortunate we are. So, I get why visiting that gravestone wasn’t exactly a priority for you.
But as you grow older, I believe those moments will take on a deeper meaning.
With time, travel, and new experiences, you’ll witness firsthand the inequalities that persist in our world. You’ll meet individuals who face discrimination based on their race or sexual orientation. Given that you are biracial, I imagine you may encounter those challenges personally. You’ll observe how differently-abled individuals are often marginalized and how entire communities are unjustly stereotyped, despite our beliefs urging us to embrace love and acceptance. The harsh realities of inequity will astonish you and tug at your hearts.
I know that you can’t fully comprehend these issues yet, which is why your dad and I strive to provide you with even a sliver of perspective. From volunteering at shelters to participating in pride parades, we make a concerted effort to discuss race and equality whenever we can.
I didn’t come to understand these matters until much later in life, and it’s my hope to give you a different starting point. You might look back at these experiences and groan with annoyance (and let’s be real, that’s totally going to happen). But I also hope you’ll reflect on them with at least a sense of understanding of why they mattered so much to me and what I aspired to achieve with them.
Why I Took You to Vote
Now, why did I take you to vote and then stand in line to see Susan B. Anthony’s gravestone on election day? I know you were not exactly thrilled, but I felt it was essential. Here’s the thing: I have no doubt you will face challenges and obstacles just because you are women. Like every woman I know, you will encounter harassment, condescension, or at the very least, be underestimated simply for being female.
When that happens, I hope you can look back on moments like Tuesday. I want you to remember how you asked if you could wear a pantsuit in honor of a female presidential candidate and how excited you were to wear the blazers I found at the thrift store (pantsuits are hard to find for the under-12 crowd!). I want you to recall how you jumped out of bed, thrilled at the thought of a woman potentially becoming president.
I want you to remember the smiles exchanged with other women in their pantsuits at the polling station, members of an unspoken sisterhood. I want you to think back to the enthusiastic woman running through the line, calling out for high fives, and how we all laughed and reached out to her. I want you to remember the gorgeous autumn day, the vibrant red leaves, and the electric atmosphere that surrounded us. (I know you’ll remember the name Mary Smyles Butts on one of the gravestones; it gave me a chuckle too.)
I want you to remember that we let a woman with a walker cut ahead of us, even though we had all been waiting patiently, because her friend kindly asked us to. We did it without hesitation: that’s what women do for one another — we uplift, support, and cheer each other on. I want you to recall the woman ahead of us who stood in line for over an hour with a full bouquet of white flowers. When she reached Susan’s grave, she had only three blooms left because she generously shared the rest with those around her, including you and me.
I want you to remember how we practically skipped back down the cobblestone path, whispering to each other, “Do you really think she can do it?” (For the record, our support for Secretary Clinton wasn’t solely based on her gender; we had many reasons for our choice. Still, the idea of a woman achieving this milestone is exhilarating.) The possibility of a woman reaching such heights is due to the tireless work of women like Susan B. Anthony, and we owe her a tremendous debt of gratitude for the hope and optimism she instilled in us.
Honoring Our Past
In essence, I took you to the cemetery to pay homage to the women who paved the way for you. I wanted you to grasp a better understanding of our past, which will, I hope, illuminate your understanding of the future.
More immediately, I brought you there to encourage belief — not just in a potential Hillary Clinton presidency, but in yourselves as women. I want you to remember that when you face self-doubt or are told you can’t achieve something because of your gender, when you feel disrespected for simply being female — perhaps even by our president-elect — you will recall the long lines of people sharing high fives, flowers, and allowing those who needed help to cut ahead. You’ll remember that we honor a woman who risked everything so we could have a voice. You will learn to see beyond your own experiences and recognize our shared connections.
Although Hillary didn’t win the presidency, the fact that she made it this far is remarkable. If a woman can come this close to becoming the president of the United States, then you, my dear daughters, can achieve anything you set your minds to. That is worth celebrating and standing in line for, regardless of the election outcome.
Yes, Hillary lost. I’m heartbroken and, honestly, scared for our country (but that’s a conversation for another day). I wish you lived in a world where a woman had already become president. But we witnessed something monumental on election day, and every day: Women are courageous. Women are strong. Women support one another. Neither Susan nor Hillary gave up, and neither will we. If not this year, there will be another chance. Together, we will fight to make it happen.
I took you to the cemetery to remind you that it only takes one woman to spark change. Her name is Susan. Her name is Hillary. And her name is yours, too.
With all my love,
Mom
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Summary
In this heartfelt letter, a mother reflects on taking her daughters to visit Susan B. Anthony’s grave. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the struggles women have faced and the significance of voting. The mother hopes to instill a sense of empowerment in her daughters, encouraging them to believe in themselves amidst societal challenges. Through shared moments at the polling station and the cemetery, she aims to foster a lasting connection to the perseverance of women throughout history.
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