My daughter is 5 years old, and she embodies fierceness in every sense. When she trips and scrapes her knee, she simply brushes off the dirt and keeps playing. This year, she was the sole girl on her soccer team and ended up scoring the majority of the goals. On the playground, she stands up for herself against any unfairness. I once picked her up from preschool only to find her fuming because the boys wouldn’t let her join a running race—turns out, it was because she kept winning.
Instilling a fierce spirit isn’t always simple. It often comes with strong opinions and intense emotions, and I suspect I’ll be getting to know her kindergarten teacher quite well next year. Nevertheless, we want to nurture her natural instincts as she steps into the world. She uses her voice, stands her ground, and never apologizes unnecessarily.
At 40, I’m still mastering many of these qualities myself. So, here are some strategies we’re using to ensure she continues to be a force to be reckoned with:
- Encourage Self-Advocacy
We empower her to speak up for herself—she places her own orders at restaurants and approaches adults confidently, communicating directly with her teachers when something bothers her. - Celebrate Nature
We embrace dirt, bugs, and all the “gross” things. I never scream when a spider crawls on me, so she views all bugs as friends rather than foes. - Engage in Roughhousing
Most nights, WrestleMania unfolds in our living room, typically instigated by my husband. Though I often miss the show, I’ve learned that roughhousing fosters resilience and strengthens our bond. - Normalize Bodily Functions
While we do encourage manners, we also believe that natural bodily functions shouldn’t be shamed. A little burping and farting can be fun! - Stay Calm in Chaos
We don’t freak out over minor mishaps—whether it’s a scraped knee, spilled milk, or a colorful slip of the tongue; we maintain our composure. - Choose Thought-Provoking Toys
We provide her with toys that stimulate her mind, not just dolls and dresses. She loves building towers just as much as she enjoys playing princess. - Introduce Inspiring Role Models
While I may not be as fierce as she is, I strive to be a role model by challenging myself—like learning to ski at 38 or co-producing a national show despite my fear of public speaking. - Encourage Choices and Embrace Failures
Failures can be tough to accept, but we celebrate them to help her learn to make positive choices as she grows, especially when she reaches her teenage years. - Trust Her Instincts
Every child has that inner voice that signals when something is off; our role is to encourage her to listen to it rather than dismiss it. - Really Listen
We strive to pay attention when she talks. She has a lot to say, and it’s crucial she knows we’re genuinely hearing her. - Teach Practical Skills
She knows how to pee in the woods; it’s a practical skill that can come in handy! - Foster Mutual Respect
We discuss the types of voices that get results. I can’t order her around, just as she shouldn’t try to order me—except when she’s singing at 10 p.m. (seriously!). - Validate Emotions
Crying is a natural part of life. I always feel better after a good cry, and I want her to understand that expressing emotions signifies strength, not weakness. - Expose Her to New Experiences
We introduce her to a variety of activities to discover what resonates with her, whether it’s skateboarding, fashion designing, or treehouse building. - Let Go of Perfection
Often, she walks out looking like a hot mess, but allowing her to choose her outfits empowers her, so I let it be!
These strategies are just the beginning. She’s only 5, so we have a long journey ahead, but I’m optimistic she’ll grow up to be an unstoppable force. I just hope we can keep up with her during these formative years!
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