In a moment I never anticipated, I found myself weighing in front of my daughter today. It was one of those automatic actions—tapping the scale and stepping on—when I suddenly noticed her curious gaze fixated on me.
“Uh-oh,” I thought, realizing that I had inadvertently opened a door I promised myself would remain closed. Before becoming a parent, I envisioned a different approach to body image discussions. I dreamed of nurturing our bodies as miraculous vessels, focusing on strength and capability over societal standards of beauty. I aimed to break the cycle of body shame that often plagues women. Yet, life happened, and my resolve began to waver.
Between sleepless nights and countless diaper changes, my perspective began to shift. I caught myself making offhand comments about my body—comments like, “I used to fit in these pants,” while struggling with a stubborn zipper, or “Before you came along, I had a waist,” as I rummaged through a pile of wrinkled clothes. In these moments, I unintentionally taught her that body comparison was normal, even expected.
This morning, as I stood on the scale, I was reminded of her innocent perception of me. To her, I am flawless. My tired body is a haven, my soft belly a reminder of the love and warmth I provided her during those vulnerable months. The scale’s number is meaningless to her; she sees me as her mom, and in her eyes, I am simply amazing—at least for now.
In turn, I see her perfection too. I notice her bright smile, her swift legs, and the determination she shows as she learns to navigate her own body. I feel her joy when she finally reaches that toy out of grasp.
Today, I abandon the notion of shielding her from my struggles with body image. Instead, I commit to honesty. I will explain that the world can be unkind, especially towards women. Some people will attempt to define our worth based on superficial criteria—like the length of our legs or the size of our waist. It’s a harsh reality that sometimes comes from those in positions of influence, but it’s crucial she understands this is not true.
I will impart that those who objectify women are not worth her time or attention. Every individual deserves respect, regardless of their size, shape, or background. We all have the right to exist, to be heard, and to be valued for who we truly are.
I will introduce her to a world filled with kindness—where people uplift one another instead of tearing each other down, where victories are celebrated, and struggles are shared. Thankfully, we are surrounded by those who prioritize character over appearance.
Yes, I grapple with societal pressures about body image. Pretending I don’t feel this weight won’t prepare her for when she faces similar challenges. Therefore, I pledge to be transparent. I will share that while I am a strong and capable woman, the pressure to conform still affects me. I will emphasize that true beauty lies in kindness, intelligence, and strength, not in an arbitrary number on a scale.
And as a dramatic statement of my commitment, I might even take a sledgehammer to that scale!
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In summary, it’s important to approach the subject of body image with honesty and openness. By fostering a positive environment and emphasizing inner qualities, we can help our children navigate the complexities of societal expectations, leading them to embrace their true selves.
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