As the Halloween season rolls around, I can’t help but feel a growing concern about a troubling trend: the joy-sucking curmudgeons who seem determined to strip our holidays of their fun. Yes, you heard that right! This group tends to operate quietly but effectively, targeting the festive spirit surrounding our beloved holidays, particularly Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Their disdain isn’t just for the joy these occasions bring, but also for the indulgence that comes with them.
Every year, we’re inundated with unsolicited advice like, “opt for the veggie platter.” Seriously? A veggie tray at a holiday gathering is nothing short of a slap in the face to those of us who cherish the festive spirit. You could be on a 90-day cleanse, but if you show up to MY party, you better come ready to feast.
I’m taking a stand against these holiday naysayers. Picture me, if you will, channeling my inner warrior, shouting, “They can take our lives, but they will never take our holidays!” While I do understand that some celebrations can go overboard, let’s focus on the big three here. Halloween is where I draw the line.
Do you remember the simpler times? Before social media transformed everyone into supposed craft experts? The days when we didn’t have to worry about creating spooky carrot fingers or pumpkin-shaped fruit snacks? Back then, we indulged in sugary treats like Butterfingers, ghost marshmallows, and candy corn without a second thought. Yes, I said it—processed goodness!
Embracing Halloween the Right Way
So how do I plan to embrace Halloween this year? By going back to basics, of course! I’ll teach my kids the essential rules of Halloween: A) Always trick-or-treat in the affluent neighborhoods (that’s just common sense), B) Eat until you can’t eat anymore, and C) Coconut is a no-go. We’re aiming for the houses that hand out Costco-sized candy bars, and we’ll be sure to avoid those that offer homemade snacks or—heaven forbid—raisins. Seriously, raisins on Halloween? That’s a sure-fire way to invoke a zombie apocalypse.
I’ll make sure my little ones choose their favorite candies, because let’s be real, I need to get my share too! We’ll munch on treats as we walk from house to house for that much-needed energy, and once we’re home, we’ll dump our haul on the floor, count it, and keep snacking! I’ll be there to help them through the inevitable sugar crash and to watch “Hotel Transylvania” well past their bedtime. We are rebels, after all!
Sure, the day after will bring some balance. I’ll ration the candy and even donate some to our local doctor’s office. We’ll get back to our healthy routines. But for one glorious day, we will celebrate Halloween as it should be celebrated.
Join the Conversation
Are you with me? If you want to dive deeper into the conversation, check out what our fellow parents, Lisa and Mark, have to say on the latest episode of our podcast.
For more insights into parenting and holiday celebrations, you can also explore this previous blog post or check out reputable resources like this one on fertility to stay informed. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, don’t forget to visit Make A Mom for quality syringe kits.
In summary, Halloween is a time for joy and indulgence, a day to relish in the treats and carefree spirit. Let’s reclaim it and celebrate as we should, without the guilt or the veggie trays ruining our fun.
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