By: Emma Lawson
I’ve always considered myself a people-pleaser. Conflict? I run from it. Disappointment? I can’t stand it. Tension? No thanks. I’m not one to stir the pot or cause a scene, and I genuinely want to be liked. This has made it incredibly challenging for me to say no to others.
The thought of saying no fills me with dread. What if people get angry? What if they see me as weak or unhelpful? What if I come across as rude or inconsiderate? The anxiety tied to the aftermath of a simple “no” often compels me to say yes, even when I don’t want to.
I find myself taking on commitments I have no interest in, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed and out of control. Soon enough, I’m snapping at my kids and losing my cool over trivial matters, all because I couldn’t turn down requests to help at events or attend gatherings that didn’t resonate with me.
Recently, I had a profound realization that I simply can’t do everything or please everyone. This moment of clarity, triggered by an emotional meltdown, led me to reevaluate how I approach my commitments. I decided to start saying no more often, and surprisingly, it felt liberating.
I didn’t dive into this new approach with confidence; it was terrifying. I feared disappointing others or being viewed as unfriendly. But the weight of unnecessary obligations was suffocating. I had to reclaim my time and energy.
So, I began to say no:
- “Can you be the class mom?” Nope.
- “Will you attend your friend’s distant relative’s wedding?” Nope.
- “Can you join the moms’ night out that also doubles as a sales pitch?” Nope.
- “Are you going to that big college football game?” Nope, even though I really wanted to.
- “Can you make dinner tonight?” Nope. (How about Thai takeout? That’s a yes!)
What surprised me was the lack of chaos that followed my newfound boundaries. The world didn’t end. People weren’t furious (at least, they didn’t show it). I didn’t come off as rude; instead, I became more conscious of how I spend my time. My “no” was often polite, framed as “no, thank you” or “thanks, but no thanks.” Sometimes I gave a reason, and sometimes I didn’t. Because guess what? “Nope” is a complete sentence.
Reclaiming control over my life has been incredibly satisfying. I now reserve my yeses for things and people that truly matter, even if it comes with a touch of FOMO. I’ve come to accept that not everyone will like me, regardless of how many yeses I throw around. The truth is, I can’t make everyone happy all the time. I’m not a cat video, after all.
So, I’ve shifted from being a people-pleaser to someone who values my own time and energy while still being kind and polite. Often, my no sounds like, “I’m sorry, but no thank you.”
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating motherhood and self-care, check out this insightful piece on this other blog. And if you’re looking for at-home insemination options, consider visiting this reputable retailer for their syringe kits. For further reading on fertility, this resource is highly recommended.
In summary, embracing the power of saying no has transformed my life, allowing me to focus on what truly matters while maintaining kindness and respect.
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