Having been in a blissful marriage for nearly two decades, I must admit I’m no guru when it comes to relationships. Instead, I consider myself incredibly fortunate and thankful to be in a partnership that I hope my children will aspire to emulate someday.
So, what’s the secret to our long-lasting bond? It’s simple: we put in the effort. We understand that a successful marriage requires ongoing care—much like a delicate rose bush that produces the most beautiful blooms but demands daily nurturing. We treat our marriage like a top-tier machine that, despite needing occasional repairs, is never beyond fixing. It’s the little everyday actions that keep our marriage in top shape, and I want my kids to witness these moments, so they remember them when it’s time for their own partnerships.
1. Healthy Disagreements are Essential
We argue; we reconcile. This cycle is not hidden from our children. By demonstrating respectful conflict resolution, we teach them that disagreements don’t equate to a lack of love. Yes, there are times we go to bed upset, and our kids see that too. We believe that sometimes it’s better to “sleep on it” than to hash it out late into the night. No marriage is free of conflict, and pretending otherwise in front of your kids fosters unrealistic expectations about relationships.
2. Discuss Financial Matters Openly
Conversations about spending, saving, and financial decisions happen with our children present. We don’t shy away from discussing why we prioritize certain expenses or why we might avoid credit. Keeping financial matters secret only sets them up for confusion later in life.
3. Engage in Political Conversations Together
It’s crucial to be actively involved in current events and discuss political issues as a couple. Ignoring these conversations with your kids around sends the wrong message. By engaging in thoughtful discussions about candidates and policies, we impart the importance of civic responsibility to our children.
4. Demonstrate Affection Daily
Regularly expressing love and affection in front of our kids is vital. It shows them that a strong marriage is built not only on love but also on companionship and physical closeness. Even small gestures, like holding hands or hugging, are noticed and appreciated by the kids. Plus, there’s nothing quite like embarrassing them in a playful way—it gives you more private moments together!
5. Embrace Unique Roles Without Apology
Each of us has taken on roles in our marriage that play to our strengths and bring us joy. For instance, I chose to leave my full-time job to manage our home because it fulfills me. Whether it means both partners working or switching roles periodically, understanding and respecting each other’s contributions is fundamental to a happy marriage.
Your marriage serves as the primary—and often only—example of real love your children will see. Love your partner fiercely, openly, and without regret. They’ll carry those positive memories into their own relationships one day.
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Summary
Your marriage is a template for your children’s future relationships. By demonstrating healthy conflict resolution, open financial discussions, political engagement, daily affection, and embracing individual strengths, you create a model of love that they can aspire to replicate.
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