As Halloween approaches, my enthusiasm rivals that of the most dedicated fans of the season. If you’ve ever seen a couple who goes all out for October 31st, think of us as the real-life version of a beloved sitcom duo—let’s just say we’re not shy about splurging on tricks and treats for the kids. With this in mind, I feel it’s my duty to guide fellow adults on the perils of distributing lackluster treats that could tarnish your reputation in the neighborhood.
While it’s understandable that not every household can be known as the house that gives out king-size candy bars, every family can spare themselves from being the laughingstock by steering clear of these 13 Halloween treats that are akin to finding a dirty sock in your trick-or-treat bag.
- Cow Tales
Let’s be honest: these look like a dubious snack and taste even worse. - Butterscotch Candies
These candies are basically the equivalent of an AARP card. They might appeal to your grandma, but kids? Not so much. - Fruit Snacks
This isn’t lunch! Treat the kiddos to something special. Healthy options might be great, but a Halloween-themed organic snack just screams “I’m not fun.” - Good and Plenty
Looking like medicine isn’t a good look for candy. Leave these on the shelf. - Jujubes
These are a hard pass. Just, yuck. - McDonald’s Halloween Coupons
Seriously? Homework after trick-or-treating? Toss the kids a real candy instead. - Necco Wafers
No one wants to munch on what feels like colored chalk. If it resembles medicine, it has no place in a Halloween bag. - Peanut Butter Kisses
Would you eat this? Plus, allergies make these a risky choice. Halloween should be about fun, not potential trips to the ER. - Pennies
Why make kids pay for their candy? Pennies are better used for something else entirely. - Raisins
Let kids enjoy their one night of freedom without the guilt of eating their “healthy” snacks. - Toothbrushes
This isn’t a dental convention. Seriously, just don’t. - Tootsie Pops
These cheap treats are a letdown. If you can find a better option, do it. - Whoppers
Chocolate-covered sand? No thanks.
As Maya Angelou wisely said, when you know better, you do better. While she probably wasn’t referring to Halloween candy, the sentiment still applies. Strive to be the house everyone looks forward to visiting on Halloween, and remember: now that you’re informed, you can make better choices. Happy haunting!
For more tips on family-friendly Halloween fun, check out this helpful blog post. And if you’re looking into at-home insemination options, consider visiting Make a Mom for high-quality syringe kits, or learn more about home insemination at Resolve.
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