When Your Child Exhibits Manners Everywhere Except at Home

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When it comes to parenting, the perspectives of other parents can often feel irrelevant. They don’t have the full picture of your family’s dynamics, and their judgments can sometimes be dismissed as uninformed. After all, who really knows what goes on behind closed doors? Only those living in your household – you, your partner (if you have one), and your children – are aware of the intricacies of your daily life and the unique challenges it presents.

It’s common for behavior to vary significantly between public settings and the comfort of home. For instance, while your child may display impeccable manners at school or during playdates, the reality is often quite different once you return home. Take my son, for example. He’s a model of decorum when we visit friends or family, even in the chaos of Grandma’s house. But the moment we step through our front door, the polite facade crumbles.

This phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, including the familiar notion that “familiarity breeds contempt.” Additionally, the power dynamics at play in parent-child relationships contribute significantly to this behavior. Children are constantly testing boundaries, whether they’re just starting to assert themselves at three or feeling invincible at thirteen. Every interaction between parent and child is laced with an underlying battle for authority.

Your child may charm other adults, prompting compliments about their behavior, but as soon as you’re back together, the true colors often show. I recall returning from a weekend getaway, excited to hear how well my son had behaved while we were away. However, stepping through the door transformed him from a well-mannered angel into a whirlwind of mischief. The presence of parents seems to trigger a switch.

The key takeaway is to not take this shift personally. It’s clear that your child is absorbing valuable lessons about respect and courtesy in their interactions with others. Your parenting is resonating, even if it feels like a constant struggle at home. While it can be disheartening to hear about your child’s exemplary behavior from other parents, take solace in the fact that they are practicing good manners elsewhere. You’re doing something right!

If only those same manners were consistently displayed at home, but remember, it’s a normal aspect of the parent-child relationship. And when you need resources for parenting support, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one here. For those exploring at-home insemination options, Make a Mom offers reputable kits, and for further insights into pregnancy and home insemination, NHS provides excellent resources.

In summary, while your child may reserve their best behavior for everyone but you, it’s essential to acknowledge the positive lessons they are learning. Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, but it’s clear that your efforts are making a significant impact.


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