Last Friday, like many others, I listened to the leaked audio of Donald Trump and was left in a state of disbelief and revulsion. The impact of those words was so profound that I struggled to find sleep that night and spent the weekend ruminating over it — it was like witnessing a train wreck that I just couldn’t turn away from.
As a woman, I was immediately reminded of my own experiences with harassment and unwanted advances, which many other women echoed in their own stories. The fact that someone as vulgar and disrespectful as Trump has come so close to the presidency is deeply troubling. It is disturbing that numerous individuals continue to defend him, dismissing his remarks as mere “locker room talk,” when they were nothing less than descriptions of sexual assault.
My partner and I spent the weekend venting our frustrations, trying to shield our kids from the offensive language surrounding the situation. However, my 9-year-old son was curious. He had been paying attention to the election and had already formed his own opinions about Trump, recognizing him as a bully who embodies racism, homophobia, and xenophobia. I realized I needed to have an honest conversation with him—not only to encourage his interest in politics, but also because these issues are vital for him to understand.
That evening, I explained the situation to him. I avoided using Trump’s exact words but conveyed that he had used very disrespectful terms toward women. I mentioned that Trump had spoken about abusing his power and described actions like grabbing and kissing women without their consent. When I shared that he had even talked about touching women inappropriately, my son was taken aback. His immediate response was, “Really?” followed by, “Did he get in trouble for it?”
I had to explain that while Trump was losing some political support, he likely wouldn’t face serious consequences unless there was tangible proof of his inappropriate actions. My son then asked if Trump was still in the race, and I had to sadly confirm that he was.
Navigating this conversation was challenging, but it opened the door for a meaningful discussion. We talked about the gravity of the situation and what we could learn from it. It was during this exchange that I felt a glimmer of hope; perhaps something positive could emerge from this debacle.
The dialogue reaffirmed that the values I’ve instilled in my son—respect for personal boundaries, body autonomy, and the importance of standing against bullying—were resonating with him. It also allowed us to explore other important and uncomfortable topics together.
Reasons to Engage Your Kids in These Conversations
For parents who may be hesitant to discuss the Trump tapes or any difficult moments in this election cycle, I urge you to consider these reasons for engaging your kids in such conversations:
- It’s our responsibility to inform them first. Kids are naturally curious and absorb information from various sources. If they hear about it from peers, the facts may become distorted, leading to misunderstandings. Sharing the truth helps them grasp the reality of the situation.
- Bullies often carry their behavior into adulthood. Trump exemplifies what can happen when a bully is not corrected. If he had been held accountable for his actions earlier in life, perhaps he wouldn’t have reached such a position of power.
- Challenge the “boys will be boys” mentality. I explained how Trump justified his actions as typical male behavior. We discussed the dangers of normalizing such attitudes, which can often begin in elementary school. It’s crucial to reject this mindset.
- Teach them about personal boundaries. These conversations are never easy, but they are necessary. I’ve always communicated to my kids that no one, except a parent or a doctor, should touch their private areas—and only for appropriate reasons. They must also learn to respect others’ boundaries, knowing that consent is key.
- Encourage open dialogue. It’s vital that our kids feel comfortable coming to us with questions about any topic, no matter how taboo. I want my children to know that they can talk to me about anything they hear or experience without fear of judgment.
After our discussion, I asked my son if he thought it was a good idea that we talked about the issue. He answered, “Yeah,” and when I probed further, he articulated, “So that I will know what not to do.”
So, thank you, Donald Trump. Your example serves as a lesson in everything that is reprehensible about human behavior. Let’s hope this inspires parents everywhere to discuss these topics with their children, using your actions as a guide to help them understand how to be better individuals.
For more on related topics, check out this blog post on the importance of these conversations.
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Summary
It’s essential for parents to discuss troubling topics, like Trump’s vulgar comments, with their kids. These conversations not only help children understand the reality of such situations but also reinforce the lessons of respect and personal boundaries. By addressing these difficult subjects, we can guide our kids to be more aware and compassionate individuals.
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