Oct. 11, 2023
Today, my daughter and I attended a story time session at our local library, something we hadn’t done in ages. With our busy schedules and her previous experience being overwhelming, particularly when she was just two, we had skipped it for quite a while.
The story time for preschoolers is bursting with energy, filled with tales, songs, and plenty of movement. As the first book was introduced, most kids bolted to the center of the room, eager to dive right into the action. Their excitement was palpable as they scrambled to get as close as possible to the pages being read.
During the singing segment, the kids bounced up again, knocking into one another in their eagerness to be the center of attention alongside the song. I observed that the other parents didn’t need to coax their children to join the fray, unlike me, who often nudged my daughter to step outside her comfort zone.
Instead, we remained on the sidelines. My little one is a keen observer. She absorbs everything around her, analyzing the scene from the edges. While she’s present in the moment, she often feels more comfortable observing from a distance.
There’s an unspoken pressure for children to be in the spotlight, and I had been trying to push her forward, hoping that one day she would leap into the center willingly. Our last trip to the library was a case in point; I sarcastically thought, “Great! I made her cry a river, but at least she made it to the center (clinging to me like a koala, tears streaming down her face).” It made me question: how is that beneficial? The answer is simple—it’s not.
Today, I decided to let her remain on the outskirts. In fact, we spent the entire 30 minutes with her either on my lap or holding my hand. Yet, she was still engaged. Initially, she was quiet during the first story, but as the session progressed, I noticed her whispering responses to the librarian’s questions. Those soft whispers grew louder and more enthusiastic as time went on.
By the end of story time, she was singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” with gusto, complete with hand motions. She found her comfort zone, and it was right there in my lap. By allowing her to express what felt right for her—rather than imposing my expectations—she grew in her own way today. Instead of pushing her out of her comfort zone, I watched her expand it on her own terms.
Right now, my daughter doesn’t need pushing. What she truly needs is support and affirmation that her instincts are valid. I’m committed to respecting her feelings and allowing her to follow her gut. I believe this will help her blossom into the remarkable person she is meant to be, rather than forcing her into a mold that society expects.
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In summary, nurturing your child’s individual journey is essential for their development. By supporting them from the sidelines, rather than pushing them into situations that feel uncomfortable, we can help them grow at their own pace.
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