“Another turkey sandwich, Mom?” my mischievous toddler asks, his bright blue eyes twinkling with playful innocence. “What the heck?”
I cringe, yet again explaining that such language isn’t suitable for a 3-year-old. Yes, he picked it up from Dad. Yes, adults sometimes let a few naughty words slip, and yes, both parents need to be more mindful of our language.
This endless cycle of conversation is draining. I never imagined I’d become one of those parents who frets over every word spoken in front of the children. Yet, here I am, a 40-year-old trying to monitor my speech so my son doesn’t blurt out the inappropriate phrases I might have used when the frozen chicken took a tumble from the freezer, landing squarely on my head.
And it’s only getting more complicated. Think being called a “silly goose” is trivial? Just wait until your child decides to up the ante with a “dummy head.” It’s enough to make you wish you’d studied Shakespearean insults instead! I’d take a “roguish hedge-born knave” any day over that.
Every car ride has turned into an impromptu quiz. “Is ‘darn’ a bad word? What about ‘heck’? How about ‘darn heck’?” Does he get bonus points for creativity?
The line between acceptable and inappropriate language gets blurry, especially for someone like me who values the art of words. As a writer, I believe words are just tools for expression, devoid of inherent good or evil. Some of the literary greats — think D. H. Lawrence or Henry Miller — weren’t shy about using colorful language. Yet, the societal norms weigh heavily on me. When my little one lets a curse slip in public, it feels like he’s waving a flag that screams, “My mom is raising me to be a delinquent! Someone call the authorities!”
Certain expressions raise even more questions. “Is ‘Oh my God’ a bad phrase?” he asks, confusion etched on his face. I find myself perplexed too. In our mixed-faith household, religious discussions aren’t frequent. My husband and I are still trying to figure out how to explain these concepts, and I’m pretty sure my toddler has no clue who Jesus is, much less what irreverent means.
“No, it’s not a bad phrase,” I reply hesitantly. “It’s just… something you don’t say casually.”
“But you and Dad use it all the time.” And, of course, he’s right. I’m left grappling with the inconsistencies in what I’m asking him to understand. It’s a tightrope walk of setting boundaries. Will I incite fury if I say “What the heck?” Or will the house spontaneously combust if Dad shouts, “Gosh darn it!”?
And then there’s the hypocrisy. Society frowns upon a toddler exclaiming “Oh my God!” when he discovers there’s no more orange paint, yet I know so many adults who indulge in similar outbursts, even those who attend church regularly. But that’s a complex idea for a 3-year-old to grasp.
So, I keep trying to guide my son toward “clean” language, even if my explanations seem contradictory and some of the adults around him wouldn’t hesitate to drop an F-bomb. I encourage him to choose “nice words,” think about his manners, and always remember the Golden Rule.
And if he happens to offend anyone, well, you have my sincere apologies.
For more on the topic of parenting and language, check out our post on cleaning up language around kids. If you’re also navigating the journey of at-home insemination, be sure to visit Make A Mom for reputable insemination kits. Additionally, Drugs.com offers fantastic resources for anyone dealing with pregnancy and home insemination challenges.
In summary, as we navigate the murky waters of language with our toddlers, it’s essential to balance societal norms with our personal beliefs. Encouraging respectful speech while managing the occasional slip-up can be a challenging but necessary task for any parent.
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