By: Emily Carter
Recently, my family embarked on a road trip to our cabin in the picturesque region of upstate New York. Reflecting on past experiences, I remember how arduous these journeys were when my boys were infants. A seemingly simple four-hour drive could easily stretch into an all-day affair, filled with numerous stops for nursing and diaper changes. To add to the chaos, both of my little ones were prone to screaming fits in the car, which meant we frequently had to pull over to calm them down.
I can still vividly picture the moments I looked back at my babies—twisting in their car seats, tears streaming down their faces, and tiny fists flailing in frustration. It felt like torture for all of us. Thankfully, that challenging phase is behind us.
On the return trip from our recent adventure, we paused at a rest area for a much-needed Starbucks fix. My husband and two sons remained comfortably in the car, glued to their screens, while I braved the long line of caffeine-hungry travelers. Behind me, a father was bouncing a fussy baby on his knee, attempting to soothe him as we waited.
The baby playfully tugged at my hair. I chuckled and said, “No worries!” The dad apologized, explaining, “He’s just having a rough day.” I assured him that I found it adorable and asked what was bothering the little one. “He really despises the car,” he replied. I shared my own experiences with car trips, and it seemed to lift his spirits a bit.
Then he asked, “But I’ll miss it, right?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, you’ll miss some of it, but not the car screams!” We both chuckled and continued to wait for our drinks, but soon the poor baby was wailing again, tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. The dad, clearly embarrassed, bounced him vigorously, repeating his earlier question to a stranger, “But I’ll miss it, right?”
I understood his sentiment. If it brought him comfort to say that, then good for him. Yet, I sometimes wish that phrase didn’t exist. When I became a new mom, people frequently told me, “You’ll miss it all.” I often found myself venting about sleepless nights, constant demands, and the feeling of losing my identity. Their responses only made me feel pressured to embrace every aspect of motherhood, even the hard parts.
Yes, there are undeniably beautiful moments I long for now, moments that tug at my heart. But the tough times? Those I do not miss. When I was drowning in the chaos, I needed a space to express how challenging it all was. Being told “you’ll miss it” felt dismissive, and as if I should be grateful for every single moment—even the overwhelming ones.
To the dad at the rest stop with his crying angel, and to all new parents grappling with the struggles: it’s absolutely fine to vent. You don’t have to cherish every moment. Some parts of parenting simply suck. Getting vomited on at 3 a.m.? Unpleasant. Sleepless nights for six months straight? Awful. Spending hours bouncing a colicky baby around the house every night? Torture.
Feel free to complain without guilt. You love your kids fiercely, and you’re creating countless cherished memories—moments you wish you could capture forever. But that doesn’t mean you have to enjoy every aspect of parenting. Sometimes, parenting tiny humans is just plain hard.
However, what makes you extraordinary is that you persevere. You push through the chaos because your love for your children is boundless. You are a rock star, a goddess, and a miracle worker. All parents are. So, relish the joyful moments, vent about the frustrating ones, and carry on. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We’ve all faced similar challenges, and we all deserve a well-deserved treat, like a refreshing iced mocha Frappuccino after a long day.
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In summary, it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed by the challenges of parenting. While you may cherish the sweet moments, it’s okay to admit that some parts of the journey are tough. Embrace your feelings, know you’re not alone, and keep pushing through.
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