By: Emma Hartley
Updated: Oct. 3, 2023
I recently found myself at the local butcher shop, on a mission to snag the perfect cut of beef for my renowned pot roast. This recipe has a cherished place in my family’s traditions, and I’ve prepared it countless times. Admittedly, I consider myself quite adept at it—not that I’m bragging, but it’s true. Yet, as a woman, stating that felt oddly uncomfortable.
As I approached the counter and requested my desired cut, I anticipated a straightforward transaction. But instead, the male butcher took it upon himself to interrogate me about my choice. What I was making it for, how I intended to use it—like it was any of his business. Then, he launched into a lengthy monologue about the meat. Five minutes of unsolicited advice later, I finally walked away with what I needed, feeling a mix of frustration and disbelief.
Listen, Mr. Butcher, I understand you’re the expert here, but I knew exactly what I wanted and didn’t require your detailed explanation. So, to all the mansplainers out there, here’s an open letter.
Dear Mansplainers,
As a woman, I recognize that I might not dominate discussions in professional settings. I often apologize more than necessary, self-censor, and use fillers like “um” and “you know”—all because my threshold for what I perceive as offensive is often lower than yours. I admit, I can come across as overly accommodating in conversation. But I’m working on it, and this will be my last apology. I promise.
That said, it’s time to put an end to mansplaining. The term was popularized by Rebecca Solnit in her 2008 essay, Men Explain Things to Me, and it perfectly captures what happens when you feel the need to explain something to me, assuming I wouldn’t understand it simply because I’m a woman.
For example, as a mother of two, I’d wager you wouldn’t be able to enlighten me on the intricacies of childbirth or the nuances of breastfeeding. Yet, I’ve had countless men attempt to explain these topics to me over the years.
Mansplaining is essentially the male ego trying to assert itself, regardless of whether the woman has expertise in the subject. I’ve encountered this at writing conferences, while driving, in classrooms, at the butcher shop, and far too many times while working in healthcare. Male doctors often feel the need to explain rehabilitation techniques to female physical therapists—because apparently, I need a refresher on my own field.
Even my husband, in his well-meaning moments, can slip into mansplaining. After 15 years of marriage, I know he doesn’t mean any harm. For instance, if I express feeling down, he might launch into a lengthy analysis, suggesting I need to exercise more or be stricter with the kids. Honestly, what I really need is just to share my feelings without an explanation.
So, dear mansplainers, please recognize that my brain is functioning just fine. I have a wealth of knowledge and experience, even if I don’t broadcast it. After 40 years on this planet, I know what I’m doing. If I want your opinion on my pot roast, I’ll be sure to ask.
Thanks,
Women Everywhere
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In summary, it’s essential to respect women’s knowledge and expertise. We don’t need explanations of what we already understand. Our voices and experiences matter.
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