The hours between 4 and 7 p.m. are often a nightmare for parents, a chaotic time that seems to test every ounce of patience. This so-called “witching hour” doesn’t just affect babies; it extends into the school years, and trust me, it doesn’t get any easier. I’m not sure if it’s the combination of hunger, exhaustion, and general crankiness, but those hours frequently result in at least one meltdown in our household — and I’m often a part of it.
Sound familiar? Let me share what a typical evening looks like for me. First up is dinner prep. While my kids graze like little animals from 3 p.m. until bedtime, I still have to manage an actual dinner, which feels more like a joke than a meal at times. After that comes the relentless clean-up. There’s always a mountain of dishes waiting to be tackled, lunchboxes that need sorting, and toys scattered across the floor. Not to mention, I spend what feels like an eternity reminding my kids to put their things away. And then, there are permission slips to sign and countless stories to hear about their day. It’s like I’m juggling the roles of a social worker, therapist, and motivational speaker all at once.
To top it off, we have homework. Ah, homework. Who really enjoys it? Research has shown that homework isn’t all that beneficial for elementary students, especially in the early years. Maybe it’s meant to instill discipline and self-motivation, but if that’s the goal, it’s not working in our case.
My son, thankfully, is an excellent student. Schoolwork comes naturally to him, but when it comes to homework? That’s a different story. After spending six hours in school, he’s simply not interested in doing more of the same at home. I understand that teachers often have little control over homework policies, and even though I’ve offered my son the option to skip it some nights, he genuinely wants to finish it (what a nerd!). However, convincing him to do it is like pulling teeth, which is ironic since he wants to complete it.
What should be a quick 15 minutes of homework can easily stretch into an hour filled with begging, pleading, and ultimately, me saying, “Just don’t do it then!” — which is usually when he finally gets to work (thank you, reverse psychology).
With all the household tasks awaiting my attention during those post-school hours, you can bet that I leave the homework to my husband. Yes, that saint of a man. As a high school English teacher, he spends his days trying to engage a room full of sleepy teenagers. He often comes home drained but knows the evening responsibilities: taking out the trash, showering our 3-year-old with affection, and helping our 9-year-old with his homework.
He understands that I have my hands full, and managing homework is just one of many tasks on his plate. Sure, some nights can be chaotic, especially when he’s exhausted and our son is equally spent from school. Sometimes the homework itself can leave everyone confused (hello, Common Core math!).
However, it’s also an opportunity for him to bond with our son. They often find humor in the absurd math questions or even turn the assignments into a game to break the monotony.
Overall, our system works well enough. I recognize how fortunate I am to have a partner who comes home at a reasonable hour and is willing to pitch in with homework. It’s amusing that I even need to mention when a spouse “helps” out in this way; if they’re home during those hectic evening hours, they should certainly be contributing in some way. If you share my disdain for homework help, don’t hesitate to delegate it to your partner.
As this school year begins, my son will be entering fourth grade, and we plan to gradually pull back on the level of assistance we provide with his homework. He needs to become more accountable for managing it on his own.
We’ll see how that goes. If it doesn’t pan out as we hope, my husband will inevitably find himself back at the kitchen table, bleary-eyed, trying to decipher the complicated methods for long division while our son complains about the lack of pencil sharpeners. Meanwhile, I’ll be at the sink, tackling yet another load of dishes, watching them work together, and feeling grateful I won’t have to solve any long division problems again, all while loving my husband for stepping up.
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Summary
Juggling homework, dinner, and household chores can be overwhelming for parents, especially during the chaotic evening hours. In this post, I share how I rely on my husband for homework help, making our division of labor a little more manageable. As we transition into a new school year, we plan to encourage our son to take more responsibility for his homework, while I continue to tackle the endless household tasks.
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