Embracing the Joys of Parenting Without the Expectation of More

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When I was a child, I adored playing with baby dolls. I’d rock them to sleep, swaddle them tightly, and dress them in a myriad of outfits. I even had one of those rather unsightly dolls that you could “feed,” only to have the water emerge from the other end—because, apparently, diaper changes were the epitome of fun. I envisioned having a baby as the highlight of parenthood, filled with cute clothes, tiny shoes, and heartwarming smiles. That was the motherhood experience I eagerly anticipated.

Fast forward to today, and my perspective has shifted as my children have grown older. I now relish a different, enchanting reality. It’s a world where I can feed my kids without worrying about the aftermath, where they’ve transformed into vibrant, hilarious individuals with their own thoughts and ideas. When someone asks if I’m considering having another baby, my ovaries practically revolt against the idea.

Here are some delightful aspects of parenting during this phase when I have no desire for more littles:

1. Countertops Only: I’m no longer responsible for wiping noses or bottoms—just my own countertops.
2. Fewer Safety Concerns: My older kids remember to look both ways before crossing the street, and I don’t constantly fret over toddlers turning on the stove or swallowing marbles. Life is less daunting—well, at least until they learn to drive.
3. Self-Dressing: I can simply say, “Put on your shoes,” and, after a leisurely five-hour wait, it actually happens.
4. Independent Play: They can entertain themselves without my constant supervision. No more worrying about them using markers inappropriately or experimenting with lotion in their hair.
5. Goodbye Car Seats: This might seem trivial, but after a decade of buckling and unbuckling kids in car seats—over 18,000 times—I feel an immense sense of relief.
6. Household Helpers: My kids are capable of carrying groceries, cleaning, and even helping with laundry. I mentioned to my son that I started washing dishes at age 10, and now that he’s hit that milestone, I might just celebrate my retirement from dish duty!
7. Enjoyable Entertainment: We can finally watch movies that don’t revolve around princesses or play games that don’t involve learning the ABCs. Bike rides are a breeze when everyone is pedaling their own bike, and restaurant outings are a joy with everyone sitting and eating.
8. Seeking Independence: Now that my son is in fourth grade, he walks to and from the school bus by himself, feeling like a superstar. He’s ready for more responsibility, and I’m thrilled to offer it.
9. Milder Emotions: While we still have our share of tears, my older kids aren’t throwing tantrums in grocery stores or being carted out in fits because they didn’t get a toy from the vending machine.
10. Real Conversations: It’s incredibly rewarding to communicate with my kids about their feelings and experiences. They can articulate their challenges and excitement, even if their jokes remain painfully cringeworthy.

While I certainly cherished the moments of having babies and toddlers, I’m finding that this stage with older kids is my favorite so far. If only we could tackle those eye rolls and the aversion to showering, we’d be all set.

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Summary

Navigating the transition from babyhood to the delightful chaos of older children brings a wealth of joys and reliefs. From newfound independence to less intense emotional outbursts, the parenting experience evolves into a more enjoyable phase. Embrace these moments and cherish the growth!