To say I experience a deep longing for my children when I step away is an understatement. I’ve felt overwhelming anxiety, sleepless nights, and even physical sickness at the thought of leaving them. Friends have suggested I loosen my grip, that it’s not typical to feel this way just because I’m taking a weekend break, and that I might have control issues. Perhaps they are right. I don’t delve into the psychological reasons behind my feelings; I just know they exist. Nonetheless, I still choose to go.
The first time I left my eldest, who was just 10 months old, I was quite the drama queen. I had my partner take him out of the house first so that I would feel less guilty about being the one to leave. After sitting in my car, I almost felt like I would be sick. But once the weekend began, it was pure bliss.
We indulged in shopping sprees, savored McDonald’s fries during pedicures, and enjoyed a lively dinner with live music, all while sipping on wine. The cherry on top was hitting the local ice cream shop for double scoops and reminiscing about our college days until we were in stitches. This became a cherished tradition over the years.
Fast forward a few years, when my youngest was just 6 months old, and I found myself on another weekend getaway. While dining at a bustling outdoor restaurant, I struck up a conversation with two women in their 60s who were enjoying a similar escape. They shared that they had been taking these trips for about two decades since their kids grew up. They reminisced about how difficult it was to find time for themselves back in the day. When they asked about my kids, I mentioned I had three little ones at home with my husband. Their disbelief at him managing solo was eye-opening for me.
That moment reassured me that prioritizing my time away with friends is essential. I realized that I have numerous compelling reasons to keep taking these breaks:
- I Deserve It. While I miss my kids dearly, I also miss my friends. Those weekends spent together are irreplaceable. We all deserve time to reconnect.
- It’s Worth It. Planning a getaway takes considerable effort, especially as we juggle multiple responsibilities. Yet, the refreshment and joy we return with make the chaos of preparation worthwhile.
- It Benefits the Family. Our return often brings a renewed appreciation from our kids. They rely on us, yes, but they also benefit from bonding with their other parent or caregiver. It demonstrates that mothers can have lives beyond family obligations.
- My Partner Supports It. He notices the difference in my mood after a little time away. He enjoys the rejuvenated version of me, who comes back ready for fun and adventure.
- I Don’t Want to Be the Woman Who Fell Off the Bench. It’s vital for me to step back and allow my family to thrive independently of me. I can’t be the mom who feels tethered at all times.
Although I still experience anxiety when I leave, it’s more about the excitement of shopping without kids or indulging in my favorite foods without having to share. It’s refreshing to take a break from the constant demands of motherhood, but when I walk through that door, I cherish the hugs and the scent of their heads because I genuinely missed them. After a brief escape, I am always ready to embrace the delightful chaos of family life once again.
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In summary, stepping away from my kids for a few days is a necessary act of self-care that benefits both me and my family. It allows for personal growth, strengthens relationships, and ultimately enhances family dynamics.
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