Good news for mothers raising daughters! It turns out that our daughters’ inclination to defy us can actually work in their favor. A study conducted by researchers at the University of Essex revealed that girls with mothers who “nag” them are more likely to pursue higher education, secure better-paying jobs, and steer clear of teenage pregnancies compared to those whose mothers are more laid-back.
Led by researcher Lisa Thompson, the study tracked the lives of over 15,000 girls aged 13 to 14 from 2004 to 2010. The findings indicated that high parental expectations significantly influenced key life choices for these girls. Importantly, the expectations set by the primary parent—often the mother—were particularly impactful, which means we may have earned the “nagging” reputation for good reason!
As someone who grew up with a mother who had lofty expectations and wasn’t shy about reminding me of them, I can vouch for the effectiveness of this approach. I’m convinced that half the reason I graduated from high school was the fear of hearing my mom say, “I told you so.” And guess what? I made it through high school just fine, thanks to that little push from my mom.
Interestingly, the study revealed that even when our teens appear to ignore our advice, our words still resonate. As Thompson stated, “We often made choices contrary to our parents’ wishes, yet their influence remained a significant factor in our decisions.” So yes, moms, we are firmly lodged in their minds, often guiding their choices—even when they act like they don’t want us to.
The research also indicated that parental expectations significantly impacted decisions regarding teenage pregnancies. While self-esteem and a sense of agency are vital, avoiding pregnancy simply to dodge our nagging is perfectly acceptable too—whatever it takes!
Now, what about those “cool moms” who avoid putting any pressure on their daughters? Are their daughters more likely to face dire consequences? Not necessarily. The study concluded that having high expectations can reduce the likelihood of teenage pregnancy by 4% compared to parents with “middling aspirations.” While 4% isn’t exactly zero, it’s not a reason to abandon our gentle reminders if we’re not already inclined to do so.
For me, I’ll continue with my “nagging” approach, but with newfound confidence. My daily reminders will include cheerful phrases like, “Good morning! Don’t forget to brush your teeth and make smart choices!” and “Good night! Remember to set your alarm and stay away from bad influences.” Each time my daughter responds with, “I know, Mom,” I’ll take solace in the fact that I’m making my presence known—perhaps I should even consider investing in a “Headville” condo!
If you’re looking for additional insights on parenting and home insemination, be sure to check out our post on intracervical insemination. And for those on a fertility journey, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, the March of Dimes is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination guidance.
Summary
Research indicates that mothers who set high expectations for their daughters can significantly influence their success. High parental expectations correlate with better educational outcomes and lower rates of teenage pregnancy. As moms, we can take comfort in knowing that our reminders and guidance matter, even if our daughters pretend not to listen.
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