For a considerable amount of time, I found it difficult to allow myself the grace of failure. Concerned about what others thought and fearful of being labeled a “problem,” I often chose the comfort of conformity. My eldest children easily met the societal expectations of childhood, excelling in school and adhering to every task I presented.
However, after adopting four children, I came to a crucial realization: my relentless focus on achievement was actually detrimental to their well-being. I finally embraced the idea of saying “no,” freeing my children to simply be kids. As their parent, I was able to redefine the values and standards I imposed on them, recognizing that no grade or standardized test could truly capture their worth.
It all began one night, exhausted from coaxing my daughter into completing her homework. As I watched her tearfully struggle, I realized this was more about my agenda than her education. As a former educator, I questioned whether homework in early grades was beneficial. The answer was a resounding no, yet I persisted. In that moment, I understood that the homework had become my measure of success, and I saw in her eyes a longing for the freedom to be a child. With a newfound resolve, I decided to reclaim their childhood, recognizing that this issue permeated many aspects of their lives. The next day, I walked into the school and informed the teacher that we would not be participating in the homework grading. I then began reflecting on my choices and the fundamental questions surrounding my children’s upbringing. I even crafted a letter that I believe resonates with many children today.
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